Titus2Woman: Phyllis

You’ve told me how much the Titus2Woman series has encouraged you - and I’m glad.  So many of us as young women and mothers can relate to them in different ways.  We’ve battled depression, we’ve lost babies, we’ve lost parent’s.  Some of us wonder what we have to offer in comparison.  Our lives seem easy-peesy in the face of our friends’, yet I stand by the belief that we all have something to offer those around us.

Today, I want to introduce you to my friend (and Tim’s aunt), Phyllis.  I have known her for most of my life, and I appreciate her spunk and love for life.  She is an incredibly hard worker and I admire that in her as well.

As with the other women, I sent Phyllis a list of questions and here is how she answered them.  If this blesses you, please pass it on to other women... and feel free to drop me a line - I’ll pass your comments on to Phyllis as well.

Now, meet Phyllis:

Hi, I'll start by telling you a little about myself.  I have been married to Lowayne Yoder for 33 years.

  

Our oldest son, Jonathon, is 32 years old and has 2 boys and 3 girls.  Their ages range from 10 to 5 (and they are in the process of adopting 2 children from Uganda).  Jonathon is married to Carissa and they farm with us. 

Jon, Carissa, Ben, Madi, Zoe, Max & Mia

Mark is 30 years old and lives at our home.  He was born with Cerebral Palsy.  Mark works at K-mart two days each day, as a greeter. 

Monica is 28 years old and lives at our home. She is the secretary/bookkeeper at Yoder and Sons trucking and Meadowbrook Farms.  

Jasmine came to live with us several years ago and is currently in college.

Jessica, Monica & Jasmine

Jessica is 26 yrs old and is married to Josh Berkshire. They live in Nappanee, Ind. She is working at Burkholder Dutch Village. 

Some good memories I have are of my kids using boxes, buckets or whatever they could find to make drums and playing these "drums" while the rest of the kids rollerbladed to the music.  I loved to sneak into the hall and listen to the girls as they played with dolls and were the mom and kids waiting for their dad to come home. 

These are very generic, but good memories. I loved the times we traveled out west in a rented moterhome, listening to Odessey, and enjoying the landmarks all along the way.  

My goals as a young mom were at first to have a perfect family and live happily ever after... as it became real, I truly had a goal to just make it thru the day without screaming. 

It was so busy for me when they were little I didn’t think much about all of that stuff. As they got older, I think I was just treading water. I really wanted my kids to get a good education and be rooted in the Word of God.

Having a handicapped kid was definitely a challenge I didn’t plan on.  It is really hard for me to understand medical stuff, so I was very thankful for Pathfinder center (a local school for disabled kids).   Those gals helped me more than I can explain. 

Going to the grocery store with a newborn, 2 year, 4 year that couldn’t hold his own head up or sit alone, and a 6 year old was... well, I was going to say it was a challenge, but I think it was insane!  One cart was loaded with kids and one with groceries.  I wasn’t about to go every week.  Once a month was more than enough! 

We also lived 25 miles from a major city, so I wasn’t willing to go alone with all the kids often.  At that time though, Lowayne was in the fields sooo much so I needed to just do it. 

I also remember helping Lowayne with harvest.  I would load up all the kids (yep, at least 2 baby chairs) into the tractor, haul wagons to the bins, empty them and take them back (crazy!). 

It is still a challenge to have a disabled adult in our lives, but I am so thankful for God’s grace and strength.

If I could talk to some 20 year old Phyllis, I would have told her to 

• Just buy her veggies at a market and can them - not grow them and weed them.  It is so time consuming.. and really if you could afford it to just buy the stuff canned already.  
• Spend more time with the kids... playing with them and telling them stories and holding their hands, taking them to the zoo, park, woods on a picnic, bike rides and all that kind of stuff.  I am glad we helped to start the LACS school. I was able to spend time investing in the kids that way and after that homeschooling the kids we did spend lots of time together. 
• Just relax and don’t have to have everything done all the time. 
• I would also tell her that it is of utmost importance to keep her relationship with her husband "up to date".  Take time to go away for a weekend, just the two of you at least once a year and go on lots of dates. Its good for the kids to have a break from you and you from them. The kids will (probably) all leave the nest and you and hubby will have to carry on alone together and you want to know each other then. 
• I also think it was good for me to be actively involved in the farming (as much as I could) although it made me crazy busy, because I understood so much more how his business worked and some of the feelings he was having (you know they have a hard time sharing their feelings). 
• One other thing, just be yourself... you don’t have to be everyone else.
• I also would say, share your life with your mom and mom in law. I know of some young ladies that close that door, and I know I was one of those, but I learned that although older ladies are slower, they can do so much to help carry the load and teach the little ones, and just love on all those involved. It is good to have close friends that are your age, but older women need to help by teaching and there is so much fulfillment for all involved.
  

Day 24 - God-Wonders

I'm thankful for God-Wonders.  The world is full of them!  In the very depths of who I am, there is a longing to proclaim those wonders to the world!  Whether I'm buying groceries, scrubbing floors or weeding my flowerbeds, those God-Wonders follow me.

It's true, the world is full of distractions, and my life is no exception to the rule.  Yet, my greatest source of joy and peace is learning more about this God whom I serve.  His wonders are astounding!  His love is beyond measure.  The peace He gives is unexplainable!

The stories of Eve and Mike are two examples, and there are so many more!  I've heard from people who's lives inspire me, who have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and come out on the other side.  This world is full of darkness, despair, trouble and sorrow.  That's just the way it is.  We as humans know without a doubt that we will face problems.  We will shed tears.  We will have pain.  But there's comfort in lifting your eyes heavenward and acknowledging the existence of One who is greater than all the struggles we are or will face.  To acknowledge and accept and love and worship the One who loved you and I so much that He gave His life that we might live an abundant life!

Look back over your life, take a moment to jot down the God-wonders in your life.  When we take a moment to remember what all God has done for us, we will, without a doubt, have much to be thankful for!


Below is one of my favorite Psalms.  Read it out loud!  The message is so beautiful! 

^{Psalm 40}

^1-3 I waited and waited and waited for God. 

At last he looked; finally he listened.
   He lifted me out of the ditch,
      pulled me from deep mud.
   He stood me up on a solid rock
      to make sure I wouldn't slip.
   He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
      a praise-song to our God.
   More and more people are seeing this:
      they enter the mystery,
      abandoning themselves to God.

 ^4-5 Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God,
      turn your backs on the world's "sure thing,"
      ignore what the world worships;
   The world's a huge stockpile
      of God-wonders and God-thoughts.
   Nothing and no one
      comes close to you!
   I start talking about you, telling what I know,
      and quickly run out of words.
   Neither numbers nor words
      account for you.

 ⁶ Doing something for you, bringing something to you—
      that's not what you're after.
   Being religious, acting pious—
      that's not what you're asking for.
   You've opened my ears
      so I can listen.

 ^7-8 So I answered, "I'm coming.
      I read in your letter what you wrote about me,
   And I'm coming to the party
      you're throwing for me."
   That's when God's Word entered my life,
      became part of my very being.

 ^9-10 I've preached you to the whole congregation,
      I've kept back nothing, God—you know that.
   I didn't keep the news of your ways
      a secret, didn't keep it to myself.
   I told it all, how dependable you are, how thorough.
      I didn't hold back pieces of love and truth
   For myself alone. I told it all,
      let the congregation know the whole story.

 ^11-12 Now God, don't hold out on me,
      don't hold back your passion.
   Your love and truth
      are all that keeps me together.
   When troubles ganged up on me,
      a mob of sins past counting,
   I was so swamped by guilt
      I couldn't see my way clear.
   More guilt in my heart than hair on my head,
      so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out.

 ^13-15 Soften up, God, and intervene;
      hurry and get me some help,
   So those who are trying to kidnap my soul
      will be embarrassed and lose face,
   So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable
      will be heckled and disgraced,
   So those who pray for my ruin
      will be booed and jeered without mercy.

 ^16-17 But all who are hunting for you—
      oh, let them sing and be happy.
   Let those who know what you're all about
      tell the world you're great and not quitting.
   And me? I'm a mess. I'm nothing and have nothing:
      make something of me.
   You can do it; you've got what it takes—
      but God, don't put it off.

Day 23 - They Call Me Mommy

I can't let these 24 Thankfuls end without specifically giving thanks for my children.

I know I brag about them a lot, but today I stopped and considered what makes each child special to me. After all, they are the source of much of my joy!  They are the reason I get up in the morning... really, they are.  I'd sleep in if they'd leave me alone!  (lol... just kidding)

Goofy kiddos

Photo by Malyn Sneed
Check out her website!

Tyler, my firstborn.  At age 12, he is closing in on my height.  He amazes me with his ability to change his attitude so quickly when informed that it REALLY stinks.  He has a love for God that blesses my heart. and I love how he stands strong for what he believes in.  Many nights he'll text Tim or I with questions he has while reading the Bible.  Sometimes it's as simple as "Why did Saul want to kill David" to more difficult-to-answer-through-text-messaging... like "what's a concubine?"


Amy is my main sidekick.  She loves to stick close to me and I remind myself often to use these moments wisely.  Amy has more energy than should be allowed and my prayer is that we'll be able to channel that in the right direction.  It will be exciting to see what all she'll accomplish in life with the determination she shows!  I love watching her gifts develop.  Already I see a musician budding as well as a talented artist - both in design and as a chef.


Corey is my tender-hearted son.  He is most like his father than any of the others.  His sweet smile recently changed with the loss of his front teeth and I'm stunned at how quickly he's gone from being my bald-blue-eyed baby to my little man.  His love language is quality time and he's excited for his mommy & Corey date coming up this Friday!  Many times he'll snuggle up against me and whisper, "I love you the most, Mommy."  Is that not precious?!


Kobe brings joy and laughter to our family.  He is full of curiosity and a dry sense of humor like I've never seen in a four-year-old (Right now he's running around here making funny faces and saying "Good night, Ida"... He doesn't know any 'Ida's'.  :)  Kobe is a tough little guy - within the past six months, he's already landed in the ER twice.  With his first set of stitches, I found him attempting to cut them out with a scissors just minutes after we had returned home!  Ahgg..

My blessings in life are many, but these are four of the best, and for them I am eternally thankful!

Day 22 - Fourteen Years Later

Fourteen years!!   Cliche as it sounds, I have to say it.  I can't believe how quickly time passes.

Today, Tim and I are celebrating our fourteenth wedding anniversary.  In looking back over the years, I am thankful for the many wonderful memories we share  - the birth of our children, the seven different addresses we've called home, working together, laughing together, and even crying together.

Can I encourage you today?  Tim and I wouldn’t for a second claim to have the perfect marriage.  We've had our ups and downs like everyone else.  

There are times we've put a smile on our face while deep inside we feel empty and alone.  

We’ve had our moments when we’ve looked into our future as husband and wife and wondered if there was any hope.

We’ve experienced frustration, pain and loss, but we made a choice a long time ago.  If we’re gonna fight, we’ll fight for our marriage!  What we have is too valuable, too precious, too unique to just let it slip away.

We’ve learned that marriage is one of the most priceless gifts from God.  He created it to give us security, comfort, and love, yet few are willing fight to save their greatest investment.  Too often, self gets in the way and ultimately steals the joyful moments we long to experience.

What happens when we pause for a moment and consider the other ones feelings?  What changes when we build up the other, rather than chose to serve self?  

Today, when I look across the room at my husband, I am thankful because I know it is the grace of God in our lives that we have reason to celebrate today.  

When we were broken, He brought healing.

When we were hopeless, He gave us reason to look towards tomorrow.

When we were unlovable, He showed us His love.

When all seemed lost, His comfort was what we clung to.

He didn’t give us this precious gift of marriage and leave us alone to figure it out, instead, He walks with us and teaches us to love as He does.  In return, we are experiencing a love that in some small way reflects the love God has for his Bride. 

Day 21 - Teachers, DVR Players and Home!

Does the title tell you anything?  Today marked the last day in a quick road trip to Texas.  Ok, so that's an oxymoron - there's nothing QUICK about driving to Texas!  So, although I LOVE my kids with all my heart, today, I am thankful for the DVR player in the van!  I am thankful to be HOME - and I am VERY thankful that they have school on Tuesday!  :)

In all seriousness, I do have to say that I am grateful for each person that is investing time in my children's lives.  We are blessed to have many wonderful people involved in educating them.

Just last week, Tim and I went in for Parent Teacher meetings and I was so proud of my kids - all straight A's!  I am so thankful for the time and effort their teachers give to make school fun, safe, and interesting.  I am convinced that I really have no clue how much they put into their jobs as teachers.  So to all you teachers out there, THANK YOU!  You are a blessing!

Day 20 - God's Faithfulness

I've been thinking about the faithfulness of God lately.  As part of a project I'm working on, I've had several people tell me how God has been faithful to them in 2011.

I have to say, HE. AMAZES. ME.  I am so thankful that I can trust Him!  I'm so thankful that He is faithful!

I challenge you with Thanksgiving coming up - focus solely on God's faithfulness to you.  How has He been constant in your life?  How has He proven Himself trustworthy to you?

I'd love to hear your stories so please, feel free to share!  When my "project" is complete, I'll be sure to share all I can with you here on Walking On Water as well!

Day 19 - Family

This weekend, I have been reminded how grateful I am for family.  Not just my family, but the extended family that I have been blessed with.

Tim and I have large families on all sides.  Though we seldom see the Carpenter's, their love of God and family as well as their work ethic inspires me.  A favorite memory I'll always cherish is the evening we spent planting sweet potatoes in Aunt Karen's truck patch down in Georgia.

We get to see the Yoder's a little more often and my children look forward to the Shrimp Boil or Yoder campout each year.  Grandpa is a delightful story teller - we tease him that his stories get bigger and better every time he tells them!

My Grandpa and Grandma Stutzman have both passed away, but the memories of Grandma's sugar cookies and Grandpa's precise instructions on how I should mow his yard (I still follow his instructions even though he's no longer checking in on me from the window) are precious to me. 

My Grandpa and Grandma Miller are gone as well.  I miss them.  This weekend at my cousins wedding, I stared at the empty seats where they should've been and wondered what life would be like if they were still here.  I wish they could see my kids today.  Despite the sorrow I felt, I was so happy to be with this family I call mine.

With family, we experience a link that cannot be broken - whether we want it to or not, :) and the best connections are the ones where love permeates the room.  I was blessed to experience that this weekend with my Texas family.  Sitting in a crowded room among loved ones, catching up on the latest news, holding babies, eating and laughing together is a gift that is priceless.  There, I knew I belonged.  I was in a safe place where I could just be me!

Family is a gift I desire to pass on to my children for I believe it is the plan God has for His children - to live as family - to celebrate one another's joys and above all else to love.

And for that, I am thankful.

Day 18 - A Crazy Turn of Events

Tim and I have been known to change our plans at the last minute a time or two.  Our favorite memory has to be the morning we sent the kids off to school, but before they even arrived, we had called the carpool driver asking her to bring them back home after she'd dropped her own off.

Why?  We had decided to go to Florida!  To say that Tyler and Amy were surprised would be an understatement.  It was a crazy turn of events, but it proved to be a wonderful time together as a family.

This week, we did it again!  On Thursday, we changed our plans from just two of us going to Texas, to all of us going to Texas.   Soon after it was decided, I was kicking myself - I had now committed myself to packing for SIX rather than just two!  The extra work was well worth it, and our family has a had wonderful time on our Texas Road Trip!

Although it doesn't always jive with my too-practical, always-have-a-plan personality, I'm thankful for the Crazy Turn of Events.  It keeps life interesting and provides a collection of interesting memories for years to come!

Day 17 - Purple Dresses

It's a small thing really - ok, too small.  Or maybe I'm too big.  Either way, the dress is small.  But it fits!  And I will argue that point till the day I die.

I found it in a little shop somewhere in Kokomo... or was it Fort Wayne?  The deep purple hue and classic cut caught my attention right away - that and the fun-loving ruffle twisting it's way up and around the neckline.

It was on clearance too!  Score one for me!  Unfortunately, it was on clearance due to an issue with the zipper along the right side seam.  No problem, I decided.  My mother is a skilled seamstress and could quickly and easily replace the damaged zipper for me.  I would have a lovely, high-quality dress at a rock-bottom price.  I was sold!

My first opportunity to wear the dress came only a short time later.  A certain brother of mine had been elected to Congress and we as a family were about to make a trip to Washington DC to witness Marlin's swearing in ceremony.  I tried my precious purple dress on and was surprised to discover that the zipper was in much better condition than I had remembered.  With five other people to pack for, I breathed a sigh of relief that the zipper would not need to be replaced and carefully packed it away for the trip.

When we arrived in DC, I wanted nothing more than to just "keep it together"!    I was proud of my brother and his accomplishments and was determined NOT to embarrass him in any way!  So when it came time to make our way to the Capitol building for the ceremony, I stepped into the private restroom in Marlin's office to slip into my purple dress.

All went according to plan until it came time to zip up the dress.  A side zipper is a little difficult to maneuver so my panic didn't set in immediately.  I twisted this way and that, but the zipper would not budge.

I sucked in my gut a little tighter and breathed a prayer for God's hand of mercy on my life.  Nothing.  Someone knocked on the door, and I began to sweat.  What was I going to do?

The bathroom was tiny and I began to feel claustrophobic.  Suddenly, I remembered the gray cardigan I had tossed into my bag at the last minute.  "Please let it be long enough, please let it be long enough!" I begged as I pawed through the crumbled clothing.  Yanking the sweater around my shoulders, I glanced in the mirror and decided God must still love me!  The sweater just barely covered the gaping hole on the side of my dress - but at least it was covered!

I straightened my hair, patted my dress, pulled on my heels and pasted a smile on my face.  Stepping out into the office, I passed journalists, politicians and interns.  Scanning the packed room, I finally found my salvation - MOM!  Still smiling, I grabbed her and pulled her into a back office.  With the door firmly closed, I pulled back the sweater and showed her the offending zipper.

"Not a problem," she determined as she instructed me to raise my arms so she could more easily close the zipper.  No luck.

She called in a friend to help.  One pulled the fabric tightly together as the other yanked hard on the zipper.  Time was running out and I knew it was almost time to get to the ceremony, yet there I stood, leaning over a desk as two women grunted and groaned as they pulled and tugged - trying to get me into that purple dress.  It was that precise moment when the door burst open.  The poor man's face swayed between ashen white and deep red as he muttered an apology and backed out the door, closing it behind him.

Finally, we gave up.  The zipper wasn't going to close and there was nothing more we could do.  I pulled the cardigan back on and away we went.

Our walk to the Capitol building seemed to take forever - the high heels didn't help.  I kept the sweater pulled in firmly around my waist as the words "wardrobe malfunction" kept running through my mind.

I laugh every time I picture that day.  I'm sure I looked something akin to Cinderella's step sisters struggling to fit their fat feet into that delicate glass slipper as I leaned over a Congressman's desk with two women yanking and pulling with all their strength to get me into the dress.  But I'm thankful for the dress (mom promptly replaced the zipper upon arriving home again), and the lesson I learned that day.

Try as we might to look like we have it all together, we're all the same inside.  While sitting in the House Gallery that day, observing the important people below, I wondered how many of them were struggling to hide blemishes of their own.  The thought humbled me and I left determined to have more sympathy, more love, and more tolerance for the imperfections of others.  I wondered what their deepest sorrows, greatest fears, and biggest disappointments were.  I studied their faces wondering how many felt alone or misunderstood.

I was reminded that no matter how big or small our station in life, we all have those moments that remind us of who we are.  More important that appearing to have it all together, I was reminded to focus on who I am in Christ and find my confidence in Him.

Unlike lovely purple dresses, He will never let you down!

I Think You'll Like This!

Ok, you've seen Embraezie Boutique's sponsor ad on my sidebar, but have you stopped by to see what it's all about?

Embraezie Boutique has some of the CUTEST custom made clothes I've ever seen - and right now, they're having a sale that makes your Christmas list start looking fun and affordable!!

Now through December 1st, Embraezie Boutique is offering $10 custom tees (limited styles) on their Facebook fan page.   

$10!!

That's an incredible price for custom designed shirts!! Go to their Facebook page and check out all the design choices, including initials, numbers (age) and other basic & holiday ideas.  I'd love to see what you find for your special someones, so be sure to send me pics! 

November Winner!

The Longaberger pie plate and Horizon of Hope travel cup from the November giveaway are both beautiful pieces!  I wish I could give one to each of you.  You can find these products and more at Joanna's website.  Be sure to stop by!  


I snagged Tim this morning as he walked by and asked him to pull a name from a hat... and the winner is....

APRIL GEIGLEY!

Congratulations, April!  I know both pieces will look beautiful in your new home!  :)

Day 16 - There Are No Words

I've had this "Thankful" on my mind since I started this series, but I have a problem.  I have no words to say what's on my heart.  The feelings I have deep in the pit of my soul are a mixture of sorrow, turmoil, unworthiness, the list goes on.  I fear, no I know, I will be unable to grant the subject the honor, respect, and reverence it deserves.

As I sit here in the comforts of a cozy restaurant, enjoying the warmth of my surroundings, I truly have no words.

How do I express my thankfulness for the life I have been given.  I am thankful, yet I can't help but feel unworthy.  I know the blessings I have are blessings I do not deserve.  There is nothing I have done that gives me greater priority in the eyes of my Heavenly Father, yet, He has chosen to bless me.

While some are tempted to question "Why me?" when faced by trials in life, I am often brought to a place where I question "Why not me?"

So today, I will give thanks for the blessings of safety, health and plenty.  But even as I say these words, I must remind myself of the child in Haiti who seldom leaves my mind.  He is the one who sits staring into space. He is alone.  I wonder if he is thinking of his mommy and daddy.  I wonder what thoughts go through his mind.  His picture hangs above my desk and I pray for him often.

And then there are the women in India.  No matter how much I read, the atrocities they face daily would astound me, I'm sure.

Theirs is a life of prostitution.  Their children must have food and their is no other way.

I cried as I read the story of one woman in particular.  Her baby was not yet six weeks old and was left in the care of her husband who sat outside the door of her tent collecting money from customers.  The men that come to see her show no mercy.  The rampant spread of AIDS in her area serves to remind her that this is more than a means to an end... she is gambling with her life - yet, what options does she have?

So today, yes, I will be thankful.  I am abundantly blessed.  But in the midst of my gratefulness, I will open my heart to God and ask Him to show me the way to help make a difference in the lives of those who do not know these blessings.

Day 13 & 14

Whoa!  My days are getting away from me..  Time to play catch up!

Day 13 - I'm thankful today for time change!  Especially in the fall!  It gives me several weeks of waking up around 5AM unable to sleep.  It's amazing how much I can accomplish in the mornings when I embrace the hour, get up and get going!

Day 14 - Those who know me well or going to find this humorous...  :)  I'm thankful for how much better I feel when I exercise.  There, I said it.  I really don't enjoy exercising, but I have to admit, the benefits are beginning to outweigh my momentary discomforts.  So much so, that it looks like I'll be joining a gym until June!  Go me!

I'll post today's thankful as soon as I get the munchkins off to school!

Day 13 - Belonging!

Today I'm thankful for a place to call my own.  I'm not talking about a house, although I'm thankful for the home I live in.  I'm talking about the blessing of BELONGING!

This morning, Tim and I were privileged to attend the morning service at my parents' church.  They were taking part in a special service and I was honored to witness the occasion.

Sitting there with my brothers, I considered the fact that though circumstances, distance and preferences have taken us to different churches, we all belong to the same Body of Christ.  Our churches are each unique in their own right, but we have the same goal.

We all desire to bring glory to God.  Our goal is to worship Him and to share His love with the world around us.  And because of His sacrifice, we have a place in the Body of Christ.

I've often noted that the fact that the army of God is unable to accomplish much is because we're too busy picking on each other's uniforms.  To my shame, I admit that I've taken part in the nit-picking myself.  We tsk-tsk over the churches that are more liberal than ours while giving a snort and an eye-roll to those who live a more conservative lifestyle.

It's time to STOP!

We all have a place in the body of Christ!

We all have a calling!

We all have a purpose!

We all belong!

It's time to link arms and turn our eyes upward!  When our focus is on our leader, we won't be able to see what those next to us are doing - thereby unable to judge how they carry their armor or fight their battles.

I lift my eyes to You, oh Jesus, and I thank You for giving me a place to belong!

Day 12 - Thankful for Nothing!

What am I thankful for today?

NOTHING!

Absolutely NOTHING!

I woke up this morning thrilled to have a day with NOTHING on my schedule!  I decided I would stay in my jammies, and lounge around all day!  Wow!  What a treat!  I am so thankful!

Having a day with NOTHING to do is so rare!  I don't really remember the last time it happened, but today I get to do NOTHING!  Whoo hoo!!

Well...  I should clarify, first I need to fix breakfast for the kids, but then... then, I'll spend the rest of my day just doing NOTHING.

Of course, that is, after I clean up the pancake syrup from off little arms and countertops... and get the dishwasher started.  Then I'll be able to rest!

Before I get too comfy though, I need to get started on some Christmas stuff for church and catch up on my 24 Thankfuls on my blog...

Then I just need to run the vacuum...

And dust the living room (my black furniture is starting to look gray!)...

I better clean up the bathrooms a little too...

And run to the bank...

And grab a couple groceries...

But when that's done, I'm done...

By then it will be lunchtime... sigh... oh well.  Doing NOTHING isn't what it used to be, but I wouldn't trade these busy days doing NOTHING as a family for ANYTHING!

Day 11 - Coffee Dates

In a world where relationships are broken and marriages falling apart is the norm, I refuse to apologize for what I'm about to admit.

I am spoiled - spoiled rotten!  I admit it and Tim agrees!  But, that's our goal - to spoil each other.  To pour time and energy into our relationship as a couple.

Here's why I think know I'm spoiled...

Since harvest is over, my farmer husband is around most mornings to help me get the kids ready for school.  We eat together - as a family, take the kids to school - as a family, then drive off to grab a cup of coffee - as a couple!

For the past 12 years of our lives, we have been on call as mommy and daddy almost 24-7, so these morning coffee dates are so welcome and precious in our lives!

Those few moments (almost) every morning, have become our chance to reconnect, talk about our day, tease each other and find reasons to laugh.  It gets us away from being "daddy" and "mommy" and just being Tim and Lynette. 

Since we've begun our coffee date tradition, I've discovered that a marriage can be made stronger and happier for the low price of two coffees with cream and sugar.  And that is a priceless gift we can give to both one another and our children!

So today, I'm thankful for coffee dates!

Titus2Woman: Sarah

For the Titus2Woman this week, I’d like to introduce you to a very special woman in my life.  To me she is the embodiment of what a Titus 2 woman should be.  My earliest memories are of this beautiful lady.  She taught me how to organize a home, care for my children, separate the egg yolk from the white, and that you should always scrape the remaining cream cheese off the foil it comes in (sorry mom, I stopped doing that – but I hear your voice in my head each time I toss still creamy foil in the trash and I promise to scrape it “next time”).

I was mom’s only daughter and she and I have shared a friendship for many years.  I asked mom to share what life as a young mother was like for her.  Here’s what she had to say.

I’ve been married for almost 36 years to Albert Stutzman.  We have four children, Marlin, Lynette, Mat & Chris.  Here’s a little more about each one of them.

Marlin Stutzman - Married to Christy and has two sons, Payton and Preston. He is helping to lead in our nation by being Indiana’s District 3 Congressman, but plans to be back helping on the family farm eventually.

Lynette Carpenter - Married to Tim and has four children, Tyler, Amy, Corey and Kobe. She is a busy wife and mother who likes to help on the farm alongside her husband but her passion is sharing with others with her pen.

Matthew Stutzman - Married to Elizabeth. He helps here on the farm and I sense God has ministry plans in his life.

Christopher Stutzman - Married to Karista and expecting their first child in April. He also works on our family farm. I see him as a great loving father and am excited to see how God will continue to use them!

Some of my favorite memories from when they were little are of them playing with the video camera-taping their baseball games! Of course, several of these were taped over later when Marlin was recording the Bulls games!

Some of the specific goals I had as a mother were that I wanted to teach my children about the Lord. We read Bible stories, had records and tapes that they played a lot.

When I was pregnant with our third child, my parents decided to move to Texas taking my younger siblings with them. Next youngest sister decided to pick up their family and move there too. My Mom had been my best friend. There were many days that I had spent doing our work together.   My children enjoyed playing with my youngest sister who had come along later in my parent’s lives, and we often did our sewing and canning together.  Suddenly, I was here alone. 

At first, I was rather excited to try living without my parents so close - maybe more independently. I could do this!  Afterall, we still could call each other, write, even the occasional trip, but it wasn’t so easy!!.

Those years were difficult.  Albert and I were young and trying to get ahead financially.  He worked so hard and I was busy with the children.  On top of that, I had started babysitting, so my days were full!   During that time, I received the devastating news that my brother was ill.  Rather than telling Albert how I was hurting, I withdrew into myself.  Sure, I did the things expected from the outside but inside I was crumbling... I am thankful God was faithful - He was there when I finally realized I needed to depend on Him not others!! 

Today, my mom and brother have both passed away – as has my father.  I miss them, but value the memories I have.  I still enjoy a close relationship with my four sisters.  We stay in touch daily through Facebook and texting. I’m glad that we can encourage each other.  We are often left wondering how our Mom did it because she made each one of us feel like she was just our Mom and with eleven children - that was quite a feat!!

If I could have a conversation with the 25 year old version of myself today, I would say, “Don’t walk so fast!! Slow down!  Enjoy the small things... besides you’ll be hunched forward when you get older!! 

I remember thinking on my twenty-fifth birthday with my four children playing in the living room while I sat on the couch, “Is this all my life will be? Taking care of a family?” So I decided to start giving blood!! Rather silly, but it was my way of making a difference in the world!!  I see now that loving and caring for my children was far more important, they continue my mom’s legacy!!

I’ve reached the empty nest stage now, and it’s quiet around here most evenings.  Thankfully though, since the hub of the farm centers here, it’s not so empty during the day!  And I love having the grandchildren here too!!  It has helped me think that I wouldn’t have had to concentrate so much on getting all my work done as a young mother. Nobody remembers those things, so I try to take time with those I love now and knowing there’ll be plenty of time later to do the mundane things.

I remember when Tim and Lynette visited here one time when Tyler was just crawling, he stood up to the mirror and left his little handprints there. It was a LONG time before those got washed off!!

My advice to young mothers today, is:

Encourage a close relationship between your children and their grandparents! My children still talk about getting hugs from my Mother and the cookies Albert’s mother always had on the counter when we would stop in there and now that my children no longer have grandparents, I know they are grateful for the priceless memories they have.

While we need to keep a house clean, we don’t have to be SuperMom. There is a middle line... but staying involved in your children’s lives is most important. Work together, cook together, play together, read together, pray together... that’s where the memories are made!!

Day 10 - Creation

We experienced our first snowfall yesterday.  I can't say that I am a huge fan of winter weather, (I tend to tell God I'll go wherever He calls us - just please not further north!) but the large flakes of snow falling yesterday were so beautiful.

I was with Tim on a quick run to Grand Rapids, and the snow was falling so heavily it felt as though we were in a blizzard.  This morning, we took the kids to school together and couldn't help but notice how beautiful the golden trees looked with piles of white snow around them.  Creation is beautiful!

I'm thankful for the changes in weather.  I'm thankful for the hope that each new season brings!  Even more, I'm in awe of the delicate intricacies of each unique plant, animal, man and woman.  God made each of us for a specific purpose.

The leaves of a cucumber plant were formed to grow large - to spread out wide so as to protect the product growing below from the hot rays of the sun.

A small bird (Clark's Nutcracker) living in Yellowstone Park, is known for it's appetite for large pine seeds.  They gather seeds all year, burying them in various parts of the park.  Come winter, they return to their hiding places and live off the seeds they once buried.  Here's the interesting part - they forget where approximately one-third of their seeds were buried.  In the spring, those sprouts poke through the earth and another pine begins to grow!  Something so small is used to do something so big!

One of my children recently mentioned a myth they'd heard about how the earth came to be.  "They said that two smaller atmosphere's were moving through space and then BOOM, they hit each other and our atmosphere was created."

"Just like that, huh?"

Tyler laughed a little but waited to hear my response.  "Tell, ya what," I said,  "Go get two eggs out of the fridge.  Hold one in each hand and then BOOM, smash them together.  Do you think there's even a slight, eensy, teensy, tiny possibility of getting a larger, nicer egg from it?  Perhaps even an ostrich egg instead?"

The kids laughed and thankfully decided common sense was enough and we wouldn't have an egg mess to clean up.

In our home, we try to instill a love for God's creation in each of our children.  And I've adopted a greater appreciation for it myself along the way.  I've learned that big or small, common or uncommon, God has a specific purpose for each part of His creation.   


And you, my friend, are no exception.

November Giveaway!

 I love this time of year!  Thanksgiving is just around the corner...  Harvest is over... There are good sales on soup, chocolate chips and pumpkin...

Though I am not a fan of cold weather, I have to admit to loving the Holidays in the North!  I love the sound of the wind, the warmth of a wood stove and the smell of cinnamon coming from the kitchen.

This week, I am hosting a giveaway that will help you enjoy this holiday season even more!  One of my sponsors here on Walking On Water has donated the giveaway for November.  Joanna Geigley has been one of my best friends for over half our lives (yes, Joanna, we're that old!)  She and I have walked through all kinds of ups and downs together, and I am honored to call her my friend!

Joanna has donated both a Longaberger Pie Plate and the 2011 Horizon of Hope Travel Cup for this month's Giveaway.  

They both come in the original packaging and the Travel Cup has a rubber lid that is not shown in the picture.

There will be only ONE WINNER for this giveaway!  You hear that?  You could win BOTH of these beautiful items!!

Be sure to stop by Joanna's website and see what other deals she has going on as you prepare your gift list for Christmas.  Joanna is also a wonderful source of advice and information when it comes to decorating your home!  I am always inspired when I stop by her house!

Here's how to enter:

• Simply leave a comment at the bottom of this post.  
• Be entered a second, third or even fourth time, by spreading the word via Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest - BUT you MUST let me know so I can reenter your name!!  
• Your name will automatically be entered if you become a Walking On Water follower or subscriber as well!
• Become a Walking On Water sponsor.

Giveaway ends next Wednesday, November 16th!

A Little "Me Time"!

Today, I am thankful it's Wednesday!  I love hearing those words - Happy Hump Day!  Why do I love my Wednesdays?

1. I usually don't have much on my To-Do list!
2. All four kids are in school (don't judge me!)  :-)
3. I get ME time!!!

This lovely rainy Wednesday morning has been no exception, and to make it even better, Tim is here!  We took the kids to school, then went out for breakfast.  I dutifully ate my eggs and toast and then (drumroll please) ordered Apple Pie ala mode - for breakfast!!  I KNOW!! Sometimes when I want to live on the wild side, I skip making my bed, but this?  This was really living on the edge!  LOL!  I know, my life is just one adventure after another!  hee hee!

Ok, so everyone one needs a little time to themselves!  What's your favorite way to enjoy a little ME time?

Day 8 - We Are Family!

It would be impossible to blog for 24 days straight about the gifts in my life and not mention family.  Tim and I have been blessed with lots and lots of relatives - and we love them all!

In fact, we love them so much that for 10 out of our 14 years marriage, we always lived within a mile of one of our parents.  We cut the cord two years ago and moved - now we're half way between both!  :)

This past weekend, we enjoyed a family tradition with part of Tim's family - the Yoder Shrimp Boil.  Later we were privileged to host his brother, Joe, in our home for a couple of days, and in a couple of days, I get to visit my wonderful relatives in Texas!  

Whether it's a Sunday dinner full of laughter with the Carpenters, or just another work day with the brothers on Stutzman Farms, the connection to family is a blessing like none other.

Besides the joys of extended family, I am also thankful for the family I call mine - Tim, Tyler, Amy, Corey and Kobe.  We have our crazy moments, our funny memories, our frustrating mornings (this morning was no exception), and a bond of love that I pray will never be broken.

God spoke to my heart this morning, so I grabbed my pen and jotted down these words.  

Mankind is often willing to forfeit their own personal joy and peace

Too often, willing to sacrifice the love of relationship 

in order to cling to their self-proclaimed right 

to things which have no eternal value. 

Who can put a price on joy? 

What is the value of love? 

A life lived choosing to lift up another

rather than self is a life worth living.

Thank God for the blessings of family in your life - whether biological or family by choice.  They are a gift from God and should be treated as such.

My little Amy brought a picture to me that she drew recently.  I loved it so much, I hung it on the fridge.  To me, it tells how much she values the people God has placed within these four walls, and my prayer is that it will always be so. 

Day 7 - Vanilla Iced Coffee

It's shallow, I know.  But I'm still thankful for them!  Especially on Monday mornings!

Most Monday mornings have me feeling swamped.  The weekend is catching up with me and the to-do list for the week gives me a tight feeling in my chest.   That's why this thankful is short and shallow, but what more needs to be said?  I love my Iced Coffee!

Hope you have a fabulous Monday!

Day 6 - His Tender Heart

Yesterday, my son did something that brought tears to my eyes - in a good way!  :) I saw in him heart of compassion and generosity - and for that I am thankful.

A missionary was visiting our church and told us how she is working with teens in the Dominican Republic.  She shared how her volleyball team shows up for practice with bare feet and how she'd like to buy shoes for all twelve girls.  

Tyler sat there beside me listening - likely thinking of the new Nike's we'd recently purchased for him for the upcoming basketball season.  Suddenly, he reached into his pocket and pulled a folded up paper bill.  He looked up at me and asked, "Can I give this to her?"   I looked at the total, surprised.  You see, we give our older children a small allowance each week - hoping they'll turn into little Dave Ramsey Jr's.  They take their money and divide it into three envelope - save, spend and share.  What Tyler was asking to give... was everything.

I was touched.  Though it was small in comparison to the $400 the missionary needed, it was huge to me to see a tender heart that continues to develop within my firstborn.

Day 5 - Laughter

I love to laugh! Life in general gives us plenty of things to laugh about. Sometimes we get so bogged down by situations that we don't realize how long it's been since we had a good ole laugh until you cry moment.

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Hope you enjoy a day full of joy and laughter!

P.S.  Had to add this.  Ironically enough, after thanking God for humor, I had this to post on Facebook:

"Discovered my little boys had emptied the Candyland game ALL over the living room, spread about 100 animals from here to there (no exaggeration!) then squirted shower gel in the empty tub, and climbed in clothes and all to enjoy their new slip and slide - somehow it ended up ALL over the bathroom! The entire house now smells like Gillette Fresh & Clean, my floors are gonna need several buckets of water to get the layer of soap off and Kobe's tooth is bleeding from all the slipping and sliding. I hope I think this is funny someday! :-P"  

So there, now you can laugh at me!  And I don't want to hear ONE SINGLE WORD about Signs of Life!  Hee hee!!

Titus2Woman: Donna

Let me introduce to another woman that spoken in to my life.  Her spiritual giftings have inspired, encouraged and taught me so much.  I don’t think Donna realizes how much she has impacted my life.  She is one of my role models and I’m honored to call her my friend.

Like the other women in my Titus2Woman series, I asked Donna a number of questions.  Here's what she had to say...

I have been married to Mike Monson for 37 1/2 yrs. and he is still the man of my dreams!

We have 3 children. A son, Dennis, who is married to Connie and they have 4 beautiful children! Dennis' live here in Sturgis, and he works at Mishler's on the kill floor.  Connie is a wonderful stay at home mom! Our daughter, Elizabeth, is a CPA for Ernst and Young in Indianapolis, IN.  She is divorced, has no children, but loves her 2 dogs!  Our youngest son, Jonathan, is married to Kristi and they have 2 beautiful children!  Jonathan works at Syndicate in Middlebury, and Kristi is also a wonderful stay at home mom!  So if you are counting that gives us 6 grandchildren ages 5-5 mos. Jordan 5, Hunter 3, Myiah 2, Cole and Mackenzie 18 mos. (twins) and Riley 5 mos. We absolutely love this stage!

As I look back now, so long ago, my favorite memories of the kids are when they played good together, laughed together and just got along good!! There were days when I thought that would never happen, but now as I look back, those are the memories that stick in my mind the most, and I love it!

Donna with all her grandbabies!

I remember days at home with 3 toddlers that my goal was just to survive the day! :)  But my biggest goal was to raise Godly children to the best of my ability and I remember, with tears, the nights at bedtime when I got to lead my children to the Lord, and say the sinner’s prayer with them!!  What a privilege that was!

Our unique challenges were raising biracial children in an all-white, conservative, rural community in the 70's! We dealt with a lot of prejudice, but God is so-o faithful to us and so were family, church family and friends.  We always let our children know that they were loved and wanted no matter what anyone outside told them!  As we look back at our family situation we realize that we have been a part of bringing the cultures and races together and now as we look at where the country is with races, it has been a hard but good journey!

Our children are Christian, solid, productive people in this country and we can say with pride that we have been a part of making racial history! We are all one in Christ Jesus!

If I could talk to the 25 year old version of myself, I would tell myself to not sweat the small stuff.  The kids grow up so fast and are soon gone! But I also remember when my kids were toddlers people would tell me that and I would think, no they won't, they are always going to be here!!! :)

We have reached the empty nest stage and it is a fun stage to be in, too! We love when family and friends are here and we love when we are home alone and sitting in our recliners beside each other holding hands!!

I would like to encourage young ladies and mothers to keep up the good work!  On those days when you are just thankful to survive...so what...you are still a good mother, who still loves her children, and prays for her children, and is there for them!  When children know they are loved that is the best security you can give them.

I learned it doesn't matter if the house doesn't get cleaned every week, or if you have to buy canned vegetables for them, they will be fine in anything if they know they are always loved!  And for the mothers who are able to can the vegetables and clean all the time - that is wonderful too! (You are just more organized than I was...LOL)

Remember to take time to enjoy the small moments with your children, when they come with the hand full of dandelions, or the first red leaf they find and, yes, even the bugs and the snakes!!!

Give lots of hugs, and “I love you’s” to them!

Stay the course in your marriages too - even when they get hard.  Our marriage was not always easy, but with hard work and commitment we are 37 (almost 38) years married and this stage is so much fun and such a blessing.  It is really worth fighting for!

Ladies, fight for your marriages, don't let the enemy destroy something that God has ordained and blessed already for you! Sure, it is hard work and awful sometimes, but God will richly bless your faithfulness to go the distance! And a good marriage is security for your children!

Remember that when you give God control, of you and your family that nothing happens that is outside of what He has planned for you, so when you feel like life has handed you lemons, make lemonade, sit back in the recliner and see what God will do!

Day 4 - This Thing Called Marriage

For so long, I believed God loved me based on my efforts to please Him.  I celebrated my victories, hoping God was just as pleased by my accomplishments, and berated myself for each failure, hoping God would love me in spite of myself.

Today I am thankful for the gift of marriage.  Marriage has taught me something invaluable about my relationship with God.  Through my relationship with my husband, I am coming to understand the love God has for His Bride.  In some ways it’s difficult to understand this kind of love – we live in a very self-center, self-focused society.  Too often, two people enter into marriage excited about how they personally will benefit through the union.  But, in a marriage that is focused on the giving and not the getting, there is a bond that cannot be broken.

For instance, Tim’s love for me is not based on whether I keep the house cleaned, grill steak at least twice a week, and “never have a headache”.  In return, I don’t love him only if he provides X amount of dollars and rubs my feet every night.  Our love comes from something deeper.  It’s a love based on trust and a mutual respect for the other that comes from facing life’s experiences together.  The “doing” comes naturally out of this love for one another.

Tim and I have our moments of annoyances with one another, but when we choose to serve and lift each other up, our relationship becomes closer, deeper, and stronger. 

My relationship with God is the same.  I have come to adore Him – to desire to serve Him out of a deep love for who He is!  I recognize who He wants to be in my life, and I am honored to give Him that position. 

Just as a bride takes on her husband’s name when they say their vows, we also can place our identity in Christ.  That gives us freedom!  We are no longer driven to impress God, for He lives in us.  And the life that we now live is His! 

"What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him.

Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily."

Galatians 2:19-21 MES