Deathbed Living

Am I the only one who has raised an eyebrow at Matthew 8:14-15?


"By this time they were in front of Peter's house. On entering, Jesus found Peter's mother-in-law sick in bed, burning up with fever. He touched her hand and the fever was gone. No sooner was she up on her feet than she was fixing dinner for him."

Seriously?

The woman was almost dead... and these people (Jesus included) are letting her fix dinner for them?!  

So Peter's MIL is sick, near death and Jesus comes and heals her.  And just like that she jumps out of bed and starts cooking?  Didn't she want to just lay around a while and enjoy being pampered?  Didn't she want to take advantage of full access to the remote  - at least for one more day?!  Didn't she find some pleasure in reaching over and ringing that little bell every time she needed another spot of tea? Watching people scurry about at her every beck and call?

But the more I chewed on this story, the less annoyed I got with the people in her home (yes, I even felt a tiny bit annoyed with Jesus)... here's why.

Peter's mother-in-law knew the gravity of her situation.  She knew she'd been given another chance at life!  She knew where she had been - and to where Jesus had now brought her... from death's door to a life that was whole, energized and complete!

And were I to look at my own life, and you look at yours, would we see ourselves in this woman's story? Can you remember the day that you lay dying, no hope of life left in your soul?  No joy in living?  Then Jesus walks into the room, and offers new life!  

New health!  

New hope!

When put into this perspective I understand.  Peter's mother-in-law found joy in serving others, because now she knew what she had been saved from.

It's refreshing really.

There are enough Christians in this world who prefer the drama of deathbed living.  We enjoy the tears and the attention that is ours.  We like ringing our bell, holding the remote and reliving past sorrows.  But friend, if Jesus has already walked into your room, then get up!

Get moving!

Make dinner!

Life isn't found in a dark bedroom, drawn expressions, and hushed tones.  Jesus invites us to leave the deathbed of our past and experience life. 

Peter's mother-in-law understood.

And she expressed her gratitude for second-chance living, by doing what Jesus did.

She served.

Drone Chords

I love bagpipes.

But not today.

Ok, so maybe I still love the lilting songs that can be found deep within the cradle of a bagpipe.

And maybe I still love that little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy that calls me Mommy.  Maybe my heart still melts when he asks me if I'll still hold him when he's five.  And maybe, just maybe he wasn't as whiny as I remember.  And maybe my cooking really does make his feet hurt.  After all, he said it did.

Either way, every time I looked at that child today, I thought of bagpipes.

Or rather the drone chord of a bagpipe.

Or, perhaps, the drone chord of a bagpipe that was unaccompanied by the melodious notes which give the  monotonous tone life.  And harmony.  And beauty.

Thank God for bedtime.

And I'm struck by the notion that my life is a replica of that.  For though I sit, back towards the remnants of meatloaf and green beans on my kitchen counter, taxes still needing to be done and the stickiness of sweet tea on the floor, I have discovered the beauty of God-life woven throughout mine.

I see His hand at work, and my soul delights as I see His Spirit blend with my repetitious efforts - bringing life.  And harmony. And beauty.

Psalm 119:76-77

Oh love me - and right now!  Hold me tight!

Just the way You promised.

Now comfort me so I can live, really live.

Your revelation is the tune I dance to.

Miscarriage: Erin M's Story

This morning my brother reminded me that today would have been the due date of their little one.  The heavy sadness I felt surprised me.  What could have been a day full of joy and excitement was instead a day filled with laundry and a cranky Kobe.

Yet, I can't help but think about what God has done through the loss we have experienced and I will continue to praise Him for it.

When Elizabeth told her story several weeks ago, I heard from so many women.  Women who expressed their gratitude for the encouragement they found within the words that Elizabeth shared.  I've posted some of their stories here, and today I have another that I want to pass along to you.

Erin M. is a mother of two.  She and her husband, Adam, experienced a miscarriage with her first pregnancy.  Here is Erin's story:

 

I just read Elizabeth's story and wanted to let both of you know how glad I am that she shared her experience.  I also had a miscarriage at nine weeks with my first pregnancy.  It was a horrible experience and my faith was weak.  I was angry with God for a long time.   

Actually, I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think I was angry until I got pregnant again.  I felt as if I had lost all of my hopes and dreams for having a child.  I know so much more now.  Like the fact that I can't depend on my "feelings" for truth but I can depend on the word.   

Then after I was pregnant again came an almost paralyzing fear which I now know was the devil's work.  I did have a very difficult pregnancy.  I began bleeding early in my second pregnancy and thought for sure I was losing my second child.  I sought help from my obgyn right away and got on hormones to help my body maintain the pregnancy.   

The battle was not over though, I had a pregnancy, like many with nausea and vomiting and then at about 5 months came the pre-term contractions.  Abigayle Pauline was born 6 weeks early, I got to hold her tiny blue body for only seconds before they whisked her away to the NICU.   

Once again I feared for my baby's life.  Abigayle was in the NICU for two weeks.  She was only on the ventilator for 1 day though.  I was there with her every moment that I could be but it ripped my heart out to leave her each night.  Abigayle grew and in eight more months I was very surprised to find out that I was already three months pregnant again!   

I had another difficult pregnancy with pre-term labor beginning at twenty-nine weeks.  I was on bedrest for over two months, but God gave us a healthy baby boy!  Finally I got to keep my baby with me. No one was taking him away.  It was my dream come true.   

Abigayle and Owen today

Today I have two healthy, strong children!  God IS good! I have often wondered about my first baby.  I used to really wonder if my baby was in heaven.  

I recently read the book "Heaven is for Real".  It is about a boy who went to heaven and came back.  In the book the boy talks about his sister.  You see his mother had a miscarriage before he was born and had never told the boy about it.  When the boy returned from heaven he told his mother that he missed his sister, he had seen her in heaven!  When I read about this I was at work on a break and I started to cry.  I thought of my baby in heaven and that some day I will get to meet my baby.  I don't know why I questioned it before.  

Reading this boy's account of seeing his sister just really made it hit home.  I was joyful, but it opened an old wound.  A wound from losing my baby, that had never healed.  Over the next couple of nights I would lay in bed and bawl.  I didn't understand.  I thought I had put this all behind me.  Turns out I hadn't, and I needed to have that time to grieve.

You see I thought I had grieved when it happened, but I was too angry to grieve.  It was almost like I hadn't forgiven God.  I had accepted it, but I was still wounded.  Carrying around this unforgiveness for, of all people, my Savior.  Can you believe that?!

As I write my story I can see how weak my faith has been, and how silly it is to withhold forgiveness to my Lord and Savior.  But....God is good.  He never left my side.  I didn't realize I had such pain left inside. I'm so thankful that he has revealed it.  It is so freeing.  I can see that God is doing a work in me and I am proud to say now that I believe that He will bring it to fruition!

If you would like to contact Erin or I, we would love to hear from you!  Email me here and I will pass it along to Erin.

Life Interrupted: The Cancer Center

If you are new to Vicky's story, you may want to begin here.

Life Interrupted

The Journey of Jehovah Rapha's Daughter

by Victoria Overholt

West Michigan Cancer Center in Kalamazoo, I didn't even know this place existed. This particular morning I had to get up before daylight to go to their Breast Clinic.  This meant seeing everyone of the doctors that would involved in my treatment plan.

This is really real now. 

There is a treatment plan. 

This morning was one of the most emotional I've had in awhile. There were mornings I've had to pray myself out of bed. Speaking Your word out of my mouth, Lord. I know the plans you have for me Lord, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 ...and singing songs of praise to You... 

But there was no singing in bed that morning, no verses, only sobbing. My body felt very heavy. I couldn't even move. All I could do was cry. I was trying to keep my disappointment from You. I realized that was ridiculous. You already know my thoughts. So I cried and cried to You, telling You how disappointed I was but letting You now this didn't mean that I'd stopped trusting You. I just knew that You could have taken this lump away and I wouldn't have to go to this place and listen to their plan of chemo and hair loss, surgery and radiation and all the changes this would mean to my body. 

As I was pouring out my heart to You, my Ronnie came in the room and he prayed for me. He prayed me out of bed that morning. Then he called Clarice and told her I was having a rough time. She sent me texts of verses like she usually does. God is not a man that he should lie nor a son of man that he should change his mind, does he speak and not act, does he promise and not fulfill? Numbers 23:19

I went to my 'room' amd put on some worship music and started to sing. As I was there for awhile singing, I heard You say to me.."Just Praise Me". So that was my answer from You, Lord. No matter what path You choose for me to walk through, I'm still to just praise You. So I did, and I wiped my tears and got ready to go to this strange new place.

My Ronnie, Clarice and Betty sat with me in the exam room as each doctor came in to talk to us. There was so much information and Clarice took notes. Everyone was very nice and caring. I was overwhelmed at the many patients that were there from all different age groups and backgrounds. One thing that was really shocking to me was a comment made by the oncologist's assistant when we were talking about setting up days for chemotherapy. She said most of the college students will come in for treatment on Thursday so they can have the weekend to recover and be back to class on Monday. You know my mouth dropped open. College students?! I had no idea!

I wanted to know what these loved ones of mine thought about all of this. Ronnie said it was sad that there is a need for a place like this.  Betty was really impressed with the Cancer Center. She said, "With a cancer diagnosis consuming ones mind it seems they have made it easy for you there so you don't have to try to figure out what to do or where to go. Just having the snack lady and puzzles made one relax. I thought it almost felt like being part of a family with the others in the waiting area. The professionals you saw seemed to really care and willing to take time and answer questions."

So Lord, positive things were seen that day by those who care about me... and You knew....

Unless You had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in (the land where there is) silence. When I said, my foot is slipping, Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my (anxious) thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!  Psalm 94:17-19


Clarice had positive things to say, here are her impressions----

"After getting slightly lost, finally arriving at the WMCC was very, let's say, comforting...we had arrived...mom had finally made it to the next step on this journey...we were in the place where all the specialty training was put to work...not just medical school but a specialization. 

The doctors/nurses/office staff that have dedicated themselves to the care and healing of the many diverse faces that walk through the doors, daily were there to greet us. 

The first person to say hello was a lady on a scooter wheelchair who was wearing a volunteer vest, covered in many patches....and her scooter was as colorfully adorned with one sticker that I can remember in particular...it said, "Cancer Sucks". Yes, I do agree, but I felt like we were in the right place to give mom the tools to "fight like a girl" and kick this cancer's behind. 

The day at the Breast Cancer Clinic was a lot to take in, to say the least and I was even taking notes...as each Doctor or WMCC staff member came through the exam room door. Before that even, though, was experiencing the waiting areas of WMCC...Large rooms with lots of comfy seating, shelves and shelves of literature, puzzles and puzzle tables, everywhere,TV's....and other "normal" waiting room things...but some things that are unique to WMCC that I have to believe are specifically there to promote "healing" one is the piano on the first floor...and the second thing that I noticed was a section on the second floor waiting room that was set up for painting...what a great therapy for some. 

There are baskets of hats and scarves that have been donated to the Center which are free for the taking for the many patients that pass by. There is a fitness center on the lower level available to not only the patient but the care-giver, as well. All the postings at WMCC for the different opportunities that are available, such as free chair massages, are available again to the patient and the care-giver(s). They seem to really understand that "care" and companionship is really an essential piece to healing.

Not only are there volunteer greeters but, "cart people" as well... what is a cart person? Well it's someone who pushes around a snack cart with beverages and goodies to give out to whomever they come in contact with...whether you are in a waiting area or a treatment room, they will find you. It is such a caring and nice treat.

The staff is wonderful, caring, informative, patient, and just down-right good and kind people.

Comprehensive Care...that's just what mom needed and that's just what she's getting. To have the Center's head facilitator be open and talk to you about prayer...and praying for the patients and their needs...I know that we're in the right place and that God is going to use not only the people there to touch mom's life...but, her to touch others, as well...

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I invite you to comment below or email your words of encouragement for Vicky.

A Resting Place

I'm sitting on the back patio of our vacation rental home in Florida as I write this.  The birds are singing, the sun is shining... a lawn mower can be heard in the distance - as can the sneezing of my just-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence neighbor.   

All is calm.  

All is bright.  

I love this moment.

But I know that not all moments in life are as pleasant.  There are days when we are overwhelmed by the pressures of life... the worries of sickness... the fears of failure... the ache of abuse... the pain of loneliness...  Moments so heavy we struggle to breathe beneath the load.

Whatever type of day describes yours, take heart in the awareness that God already knows.  Your days were planned out before you were even born. And nothing... nothing takes Him by surprise!

Let Him dance the dances of joy with you on the sun drenched afternoons of your life, and let Him hold you up in His arms of comfort and care when darkness covers the landscape of your soul.  

"God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. 

I'm an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of Your sight.  You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. 

I look behind me and You're there, then up ahead and You're there, too— Your reassuring presence, coming and going. 

This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in! 

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid Your Spirit? To be out of Your sight? 

If I climb to the sky, You're there! 

If I go underground, You're there! 

If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute— you're already there waiting! 

Then I said to myself, "Oh, He even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" 

It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to You; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to You.  

Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb. I thank You, High God—You're breathtaking! 

Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.  

Your thoughts—how precious, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! 

I couldn't even begin to count them— any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!"

Psalm 139

MES

Life Interrupted: Discovering A New Normal

If you are new to Vicky's story, you may want to begin here.

Life Interrupted

The Journey of Jehovah Rapha's Daughter

by Victoria Overholt

I'm standing here in my living room Lord, looking at our family picture wall. I'm looking at the picture of my Ronnie and I with our granddaughter Paige. Last summer we were standing on our deck, the sun was shining on my hair and we were all smiling. As I look into the eyes of the woman that I was, I remember being very happy.

I wonder how I've changed since then. According to my doctor, I had cancer even then and didn't know. I've known people who have had cancer. Relatives have passed that I didn't even know, and some that I knew. Have I ever before really thought about how a cancer patient might feel?

I never knew what it was like to awaken from my warm bed at 4:00 AM to get ready to have a porta-cath surgically placed in my body.  This was yet another intruder I never asked for, but have to think of as a friend.  

Had I ever wondered about the many tests, MRI's, CT scans, bone scans, injected contrast dye, nuclear medicine, biopsies with needles? I would have much rather been waiting to give birth than to wait for the results of these tests.

Did I even know there was such a place as an Infusion Room with recliner chairs and TV's and packed lunches?  Lord there's so many catalogs of wigs, turbans, hats, eyebrow powder, eyelash adhesive. There are many different styles, shapes and sizes of breast prosthesis, with or without.......well You know. 

I can never go back to that bright summer day when I didn't realize that every other commercial on TV was about life insurance or cancer. It's like being a part of an exclusive club that you would never want to be asked to join.

As Clarice shared my new 'membership' with others, it was very evident that I wasn't alone in this club. Many women came forward as breast cancer survivors. These beautiful women celebrate their cancer-free birthdays, 15 years... 12 years... 5 years... 2 years.  Many offer their advice, information, their surgeons,oncologists, plastic surgeons for reconstructions. 

Many say they didn't have anyone to talk to when they were going through their journey. Some say they are better for having gone through it. Wow, I am amazed by them and their stories!

It was through a couple of those women that we found my second opinion doctor.  Lord, You know the doctor's plan, four treatments of chemotherapy every two weeks to shrink the tumors in the effort to at least try to avoid a more radical surgery.  She says it's too big to be able to have "clear margins", meaning without leaving cancer behind.

So after four treatments, they will re-evaluate, then their plan is surgery of some kind - lumpectomy or mastectomy.  After two to four weeks of healing, I will undergo thirty-five treatments of radiation.

It's totally up to You Lord. You can use their plan, or not... because, ultimately, whatever I have to walk through is Your plan. 

Heal me , O Lord , and I shall be healed, save me, and I shall be saved, for You are my praise. Jeremiah 17:14 

The Lord has declared that He will restore me to health and heal my wounds. 

Jeremiah 30:17

My light shall break forth like the morning, and my healing (my restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily. 

Isaiah 58:8

I shall not die but live, and shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord.  

Psalm 118:17

He sends His Word and heals me and rescues me from the pit and destruction.  

Psalm 107:20

So, I'm no longer naive.   And I want to know more about cancer research and why this wretched club exists at all. I realize there are some therapies that get bad press etc.  And some are supposed to be great bacause they're 'natural'.  I can say for a fact that until you're inducted into this club, you don't know what you might do to live.

You might think you're going to go to your backyard and brew some tea from some herb you've planted and everything will be okay, but that's probably not going to happen.

You're going to go where they tell you to go and do what they tell you to do.

It's my prayer on this journey that as You comfort me Father, I can give Your comfort to others.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God (Who is the Source) of every comfort (consolation and encouragement)

Who comforts (consoles and encourages) me in every trouble ( calamity and affliction), so that I may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are

in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which I myself am comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

As the sky gets light on this very early morning and the birds are singing, You speak to me through my devotional:

Do not expect anyone to understand fully My ways with you, any more than you can comprehend My dealings with others. I am revealing to you the path of Life day by

day, and moment by moment. As I said to my disciple Peter, so I repeat to you: Follow Me

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I invite you to comment below or email your words of encouragement for Vicky.

Some family photos