Day 16 - There Are No Words

I've had this "Thankful" on my mind since I started this series, but I have a problem.  I have no words to say what's on my heart.  The feelings I have deep in the pit of my soul are a mixture of sorrow, turmoil, unworthiness, the list goes on.  I fear, no I know, I will be unable to grant the subject the honor, respect, and reverence it deserves.

As I sit here in the comforts of a cozy restaurant, enjoying the warmth of my surroundings, I truly have no words.

How do I express my thankfulness for the life I have been given.  I am thankful, yet I can't help but feel unworthy.  I know the blessings I have are blessings I do not deserve.  There is nothing I have done that gives me greater priority in the eyes of my Heavenly Father, yet, He has chosen to bless me.

While some are tempted to question "Why me?" when faced by trials in life, I am often brought to a place where I question "Why not me?"

So today, I will give thanks for the blessings of safety, health and plenty.  But even as I say these words, I must remind myself of the child in Haiti who seldom leaves my mind.  He is the one who sits staring into space. He is alone.  I wonder if he is thinking of his mommy and daddy.  I wonder what thoughts go through his mind.  His picture hangs above my desk and I pray for him often.

And then there are the women in India.  No matter how much I read, the atrocities they face daily would astound me, I'm sure.

Theirs is a life of prostitution.  Their children must have food and their is no other way.

I cried as I read the story of one woman in particular.  Her baby was not yet six weeks old and was left in the care of her husband who sat outside the door of her tent collecting money from customers.  The men that come to see her show no mercy.  The rampant spread of AIDS in her area serves to remind her that this is more than a means to an end... she is gambling with her life - yet, what options does she have?

So today, yes, I will be thankful.  I am abundantly blessed.  But in the midst of my gratefulness, I will open my heart to God and ask Him to show me the way to help make a difference in the lives of those who do not know these blessings.

An Adoption Story

There are moments in time that remain etched forever in our minds. The sights, the sounds, even the smells of that single moment can be conjured up ten, twenty, even fifty years down the road.

Carissa Yoder had such a moment. It’s been almost fifteen years since she made the trip to Romania with her father, still her voice softens and her eyes stare off into the distance as she recalls the moments shared with the children of one particular orphanage. Watching her, you know she is there once again. She tells of the filth… the grime. Even now, her voice is filled with passion as she recounts the babies lying in urine-soaked cribs staring blankly into space. “I stood there feeling hopeless! There was nothing… nothing I could do to change their situation permanently.” She stops for a moment as her almost five-year-old son, Max, calls for her attention. “Mommy,” he asks, “Can you call me by my new nickname? Can you call me ‘Star’?” She pats his head and smiles, “Sure, Star, not a problem.” He grins and runs off to play, pleased with his new identity.

“Where was I?” She pauses to gather her thoughts, and then continues. “Those children in the orphanage. I could offer them a meal, or hold them for a little bit, but what more could I do? I was a teenage girl! There really wasn’t anything I could do to change these children’s lives.”

Carissa has never returned to that particular orphanage, but the experience changed her forever. She left with a new awareness of the intense poverty so many live with in the world today. Soon after her marriage to Jon Yoder in 2000, they packed up their belongings and moved to China where they lived as missionaries for the next four years. Three of their five children, Ben, Madi and Zoe, were born in Asia followed by the twins, Max (a.k.a. Star) and Mia, several months after moving back to the states in 2006.

Though her life was full and happy, Carissa never could shake that memory of the orphanage from her mind. Her travels to different parts of the world told her a truth many remain unaware of – we are blessed. “We are so stinkin’ rich in comparison to the rest of the world!” She gestures towards her cozy living room and kitchen. Her home is clean and welcoming, yet modest in contrast to suburban America. Another sign of what lies within Carissa’s heart.

“Jon and I want to raise our kids to love like Jesus,” she states. “I have so much. If I really want to love others like Jesus, then I must be willing to share what I have.”

Her dream of changing someone’s life is about to come true. And not just one someone, but two! In 2009, Jon and Carissa got serious about their desire to adopt a child after attending a large conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Another family of seven had adopted two children and their story struck a chord. Soon after, they learned that every day, 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes. Their decision was made. They would adopt!

For various reasons, they decided it would be best to bring two children into their home, if possible. At first, the obvious choice seemed to be to adopt from Asia, but after some research discovered they would not be eligible for that option. “Household income, as well as number of children already in the home plays a big part in where you can adopt from,” she explains. But one country kept coming up over and over again. Uganda.

The Yoder’s attend Grace Fellowship in Sturgis, a church known in the community for their support of this small country in Africa. As more and more countries were crossed off their list of possibilities, Uganda remained. Carissa learned of the intense poverty the Uganda children are exposed to, and her heart broke for them.

They breezed through the home studies and now wait, wondering, when the call will come. When will they be matched to the children they’ll soon call their own?

In the meantime, preparations are being made in anticipation of bringing home their precious children. The five Yoder kids chatter excitedly about whether there will be two boys or two girls… or one of each. How old will they be? What are their names? Already, Carissa’s desire to teach her children to love is evident. An uncommon love is seen inside the four walls of this happy home.

Yes, it’s uncommon, but that word pretty much sums up the Yoder’s. The unselfish choice of giving others a better life is about as uncommon as their fun-loving approach for raising funds to make the trip to Uganda. Flying seven people there…and nine back, is not cheap, so once again, Carissa began searching - this time for fundraiser ideas. That’s how she discovered the “Cow Drop”.

Never heard of it? Don’t worry, most haven’t. The Cow Drop is quite simple actually. A grid is being painted in the pasture behind their house and tickets are sold for each individual square. On Saturday, August 20th, Chuck the Cow will make his appearance – right after his evening meal. If Chuck “drops” in your square, you will walk away with a cash prize of $500! Carissa chuckles, “No worries, you don’t have to be here to win!”

The Yoder’s joined up with their friends, Justin and Becca Wickey, who are also in the process of adopting one child from Uganda, to create this fundraiser. All the money will be divided equally between the two families. You can help support the Yoder’s and Wickey’s by purchasing tickets for “Cow Drop Squares” at either Panache the Spalon or Boland Tire in Sturgis, as well as Yoder’s Country Market in Centreville. You can also purchase tickets by visiting Carissa’s blog (you'll also be able to learn more about their adoption story) or call Justin Wickey at 625-7150.

And even if Chuck the Cow doesn’t “visit” your square, you can sleep well knowing you helped make the lives of three little children a whole lot better.

Last Day in Haiti

This is from Joel's last day in Haiti.  The story of Stephania is a heartbreaking reality of what Haiti is... so many children longing for a Father.  But as you'll see (at the bottom of this post), God loves to answer our prayers in such beautiful ways that it sends shivers up our spines.  

Please continue to spread the word about what BGM and Joel are doing in Haiti.  You can contact Joel personally right here.

 Also, don't forget about the Amateur BBQ Competition at FFM in Centreville on August 20th from 2-8. All proceeds are going directly to Haiti.  Joel will be there and you can talk to him about how you can get involved in making a difference in the lives of the Haitians!

Day One     Day Two     Day Three     Day Four     Day Five     Day Six

Haiti - June 10, 2011

by Joel Troyer

Today was my last day in Haiti.  I will fly out tomorrow.  I guess I could go on and on about what I learned on this trip.  I am sure I will be learning from this trip for many months to come.  

I will come back again very soon so I can have the opportunity to learn again as well as teach. That, after all is what it is all about.  God has opened doors for me personally this week that I never knew could be opened. The prayer is something that really stood out. My Mother was a prayer warrior. I never really had that side of her, or so I thought. On this trip though I was thrust into some battles that I wasn't really expecting and I love the fact that the first reaction was to turn it over to God and the way to do that is to pray.

When I was happy, I prayed. When I was sad, I prayed. When someone was sick and hurting, I laid hands on them and prayed. When a house was built, we laid hands on it and prayed. It is the single biggest weapon to empower you that there is.

I began praying with more power and authority. As Greg Drewery said about me praying in the tap-tap after the suicide attempt, I broke out in my “preacher voice”. I didn't intend for that to happen, God just started moving. It was a knee jerk reaction and that is something that I have never had before. It all happened so fast. God became an instinct this week instead of a plan I could put together carefully and with some caution.

God was right there with me this week and His presence was felt in a way that I have never experienced before. I am so proud to be called His son. To be called a worker in His kingdom. I love the new depth of our relationship. We are closer friends now.  He protected me from sickness, disease, death, attack, and who knows what else.  He is my fortress and my strength, my love and my comforter.  And that is what He wants us to be for those that can't help themselves.  Especially those children.

Mrs. Eleanor Turnbull

Little Franz and his brother and sister

were just adopted by a family in Franklin, TN

One of the many beautiful children of Kanez

Brent Gambrell and I in Calabesse

Oh, the crèche kids.  The most precious little orphans.  The little girl, Stefania, who I had played with all week and had developed a connection with saw me coming tonight and grabbed the ball and went to her spot on the sidewalk and sat down, ready to roll the ball back and forth with her new friend.  We played for a time and then we got crowded out by all the other kids.  I stood up and so did she and she walked up to me and put her little arms to the sky and said “papa blan” meaning white daddy.  I couldn't be her real daddy, but I could be her Father for a while.  I could at least try.  I picked her up and she buried her little head in my chest.  We walked around together and she just cuddled with me, never moving.  I walked away from the others for a while to be alone with her. I started singing Jesus loves me to her.

Joel & Stephania

Jesus loves me this I know,

for the Bible tells me so...

She was asleep. I prayed over this little girl as I held her as tight as I could without hurting her. I prayed for God to keep His mighty hand of protection on her.  I prayed for Him to give her a wonderful family and home no matter where in this world it may be.  I asked him to keep her from sickness, and then I told Him that no matter what happens in this child's life.  No matter what she has already been through, and no matter that her parents were gone in the blink of an eye in an earthquake, that she will always keep You in the center of her life. That she would always hold on to the fact that You love her so much (Jesus loves me this I know) that she would always hold on to Your word (for the Bible tells me so) that no matter her family is gone she is Yours (little ones to Him belong) and that she would always know that You are bigger than all of the pain and that You can make it all better, because that is what Daddy's are supposed to do  (they are weak but He is strong). Yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me.

I put her down inside and kissed her tiny head. I looked at her beautiful little face sleeping there. I walked away from the crèche and went inside to hide away in the shower where I finally broke down for the first time.  I wept for a long time tonight.  My heart hurts for this nation, for these people, for these children, and for little Stephania.  I want every one of them to know that Christ loves them so much that He died for them also.  It was the ultimate sacrifice and suffering for them too.  I want them to know that they are included.  So many of them don't know.

Stephania

I will come back to these people as soon as I can.  I want to be a voice for the people that don't have one. I want to love them as Jezi does.  I want them to be able to sing from the heart that yes, Jesus loves me, too. ---

I leave in the morning. I will miss this place terribly and no matter all the pain that I have seen in this place, I have also seen the mighty hand of God moving in this place.  I have seen His face this week.  I can't wait to come back here.

Til next time.

*******

This is a short history of BGM. I have been a friend of this ministry for the last 17 years. Even during the times when I wasn't living right.  It's about 15 minutes long and you will see the ministry up to the earthquake and how it changed after that.  This will show Mike Wilson, Brent Gambrell, Dr. Bernard and others and is just a sample of the story of what happened in the days following the earthquake.

To see this story for me personally, rips my heart out as I have such a close personal connection to them, but this is what God wanted and I believe these are the right people for the task at hand in not only rebuilding Haiti from a physical standpoint.....but from a spiritual one as well. Please watch this link and you will better understand my passion for this place and these children and people. I invite you to continue helping Joel spread this message and telling the story of how God really IS moving in this place and that a difference really IS being made. 

UPDATE FROM JOEL:

Upon arriving home, I, of course, stayed in prayer for the people of Haiti, but I also specifically prayed for little Stephania and that God would somehow bless her with a family. 

I ended up posting the picture my friend took of her sleeping on my shoulder on my FB page. Over the course of the next few weeks, my friend list kept jumping up as the popularity of the pictures among folks involved in Haiti grew as there are people from all over the U.S. going on BGM Mission trips. Late one night, I got a message from a total stranger in South Carolina who told me that the little girl in my picture had been approved for adoption.  She would be coming to the states and living with a woman named Martha and her family in Oklahoma.  

I immediately jumped online and looked up Martha on FB and sent her the picture of Stephania and me.  I then told her who I was and about my trip to Haiti and staying at the Crèche with BGM.  I had laid down for bed and even before my eyes closed I received a response from her. She sent me a lengthy, but wonderful email about her husband and 5 children in Oklahoma and how they graduated from Oklahoma State, they love football, riding horses and roping steers, and about how most of all they love Jesus. She was so excited about getting the approval for adoption for Stephania and her two siblings.

She then sent me a very short email immediately after that one that simply said, "Joel, I only got to spend two days in Haiti. Could you please tell me about my daughter?"

I broke down.

What an honor to have this woman ask me this question. What an honor to serve this LIVING GOD of ours! He answers our prayers and He heals the broken. He makes things all better because He is our Father and that is what daddy's are supposed to do.  I am honored to add that Martha wants those lives that were a part of Stephania's in Haiti to remain a part of her life in the years to come.  She wants there to be contact and letters and pictures.  I thought I could write this without tears, but right now they are flowing. 

To those who have read my journal and heard this story I thank you for taking the time to do so. Thank you for caring for the people of Haiti and thank you for praying for them. I don't know where you are in your life or how God has been moving with you personally, but I will say you MUST get involved.  I don't care if it's in China, India, or Sturgis, MI.  You must get involved in helping build the Kingdom and making it presentable for our Father.  There is a battle raging and we are called to fight it.

A song my sister Mary Jo wrote many years ago while working with Brent comes to mind. The chorus reads:

"Children of God, open your eyes

You have a purpose in life

There's more to this road than just heavenly castles

More to what's wrong than what's right

There's more to the battle, than celebrating victories

You still have to take up the fight"

Let those words sink in for a moment and then ask God what His will is. Be a part of it! You CAN make a difference! How He loves.

In Him,

Joel Troyer

Haiti - Day Six

More from Joel Troyer's trip to Haiti... 

Day One 

Day Two 

Day Three
 
Day Four 

Day Five

Haiti - June 9, 2011

By Joel Troyer

Kanez.  What can I say?  It was so very desolate and impoverished, but so beautiful.  

After a long, hot, dusty ride to Kanez we crested the tiny dirt path and saw a massive natural lake that had the same color as the Caribbean waters.  There were massive mountains in the backdrop on the other side of the lake with cactus all around us in a desert-like atmosphere.  It WAS the desert!

Brent said the water was brackish, meaning it was half-salt and half-freshwater.  He also said the mountains to our South were Dominican land.  I think it was one of the most beautiful settings I have ever seen.  I literally had to catch my breath and gather myself. 

Kanez has such simple beauty,

but had so much malnutrition and poverty.

Easily the poorest place I have ever been.

We drove on down the hill into Kanez which sat directly on the water’s edge.  The village was made up of simple stick, grass and mud one room huts.  We parked under one of two trees that provided shade. There was a group of women and children under the tree farthest from us and the men were all playing a game of chicken foot or Haitian dominoes as they called it.  They barely even noticed we were there and just kept playing.  Which I thought was cool.  That means the missionaries are doing their job if they are used to having us there. 

I did notice that one of the men playing (there were 4 actually playing) was wearing plastic clothes pins all over his face and he had it in the shape of a beard.  I thought maybe it was some form of voodoo ritual or something, but I was very wrong.  I asked someone and they called him the dog or “chen” in Creole.  The loser of the last game had to wear the pins and was the chen.  Made me laugh actually but that had to hurt.

The "chen" or dog. He lost the

last game of dominoes.

The children immediately came to us and we began playing with them and holding them.  You just have to when they run to you like that.  Just little souls that want some attention.  They just want to be held.  Loved them in that village.

We were waiting on a truck full of rice to arrive to hand out to the people of the village.  However we were early and the truck would be late so we had time to kill.  We all just sat around together and kind of mingled if you will.  Not much we could say so we just did what we could.  The cool thing is that you could kind of tell that we were all brothers and sisters in Christ.  These people knew God and they had a peace about them that even though they knew we had food coming they weren't demanding or pushing or anything of the sort.  They were more than polite and just seemed happy to have us around.  

We sat there for a while just to get our energy back from the ride and to get out of the blistering heat for a bit and then we took about a ½ mile walk to the next village up.  I noticed a lot of livestock on the way over there tied to cactus or bushes and just grazing on local vegetation.  Brent said there weren't that many the last time so he thinks they may be taking some of the supplies brought in and trading it for livestock.  Which is really awesome.  If they are breeding it that means they can have livestock for a long time to come.  

In the next village, the name of which I don't know, we found a nice little fishing village.  Operation Blessing had recently been in there and made them new fishing equipment made of a plastic netting connected to PVC pipes and in a square shape.  They were actually some nifty-looking devices.  Pretty good sized but light enough to carry out by walking and setting up with bait inside.

We talked with the villagers for a while and also admired a new pavilion that had recently been put up for them so they could have a place to worship.  It was nice and I got some really great shots.  I enjoyed the kids as well.  Drawing stick figures in the dirt with a stick was a fun “game” for a little bit and it finally got one of the little boys to actually smile.

We began walking back to Kanez and the people in that village followed us as they were to receive rice as well.  I discovered that Kanez is not allowed to fish as they are too close to the other village, hence they had all the livestock and the other village had the nets.  I guess that's fair.  But one supply is a bit more abundant than the other so I would think a compromise will have to be reached somehow.

We arrived back at the village and the kids were waiting.  One little boy came up to me and put his arms up to be held.  I, of course, did and he just put his head on my shoulder and that's where it stayed for about 45 minutes.  Awesome.

Finally the truck showed up with the rice and the people gathered around.  The list was handed out with the name of each family on it so one person would call the name and another would check the name off the list.  Everyone bowed their heads after Brent spoke to them a bit and then we prayed for God to bless the villages with abundant harvests as well as to bless the rice that would feed 120 families for about a month.  

Villagers praying in thanksgiving

for the rice they were receiving

The rice was handed out and the people were very patient and kind.  Not what I expected really.  No pushing or anything. These were genuinely great people.  I loved it! 

A woman carries rice back to her home.

After the rice was handed out Brent told me to go with Jenny who was the nurse on staff for BGM in Haiti who had traveled with us.  We walked over to a little hut and once inside I saw a little girl maybe 4 years old.  She was lying in the hut and looked somewhat crippled and her head was very big.  She didn't smile at first and just kind of looked at us.  Josh Evans came with us as well and we immediately took some pictures.  

Her name is Zsu Zsu. She has hydroencephalitis. It is a condition that doesn't allow fluid to flow away from the brain causing major swelling and eventually brain damage and death if not treated.  When I first got the camera out she gave me a huge smile and my heart immediately melted.  She was one of the most precious little girls I have ever seen.  She had a pretty bad upper respiratory infection that was causing her a lot of problems and you could tell this little girl just flat out didn't feel good.  You throw a cold on top of something that can kill you and you just wonder what God is doing.  But after Jenny went back to find some medicine I looked at Josh and told him we were laying hands on this child and praying for her. - which we did.  She was just looking at us the whole time.  I'm sure wondering what we were saying, however she had a peace about her so that was very obvious and I believe this child had the presence of God on her life very strongly.  I held back the tears and we walked away from her.  It's so difficult because there is nothing you can do.  Nothing.  But when you think about it that is thinking in such human terms.  When Josh and I prayed for her we did something the doctors won't do.  We were praying for complete healing from the greatest doctor of all, Jesus Christ.  We claimed the stripes that Jesus bore for our healing.  We claimed that power on her life.  Man it's powerful!  I love it! 

Sweet, sweet little Zsu Zsu.

So sick and still smiling.

I will be praying for Zsu Zsu for a long time.  I saw my niece, Gracie, laying there.  Blessed my heart even though it broke it.  The time came and went all too quickly and we had to leave her laying in the hut. Such a sweet child. 

In fact driving away from Kanez, Brent asked me who I saw in Zsu Zsu.  I told him I saw my niece, Gracie. He just kept looking ahead and said "That's why I asked you to go with Jenny".  He knew my soft spot and I guess he knew my prayer would be genuine.  We dropped Peter (one of our interpreters and guides) off near Port Au Prince as he was heading home to Leogone for a few days to spend time with his family.  We said our goodbyes.  I hope it's not the last time I see Guerson....I mean Peter from Wisconsin :)

Headed out to the crèche again tonight to play with the kids.  It's such a nice way to come home.  A bunch of crazy orphans who are thrilled to see you!  So much fun.  Tiring.....but fun.  That little one saw me coming down the steps and grabbed the ball right away.

They know how to make you feel wanted that's for sure.

Thoughts and Devotion:

Tonight we discussed how the people in Kanez really didn't ask prayer for themselves as much as those around them.  It showed a selflessness that you don't often find in people.  Another thing was their eyes.  These were the poorest of poor of the people in Haiti, but they were so happy. They had eyes that were tired. yes, but you could tell they had a depth to them and they seemed to know that Jesus loved them and there was no need to panic or get excited, God had it under control.  

It was pretty cool to see them react to us the way they did.  Brent said it wasn't that way the first couple visits, but now they were learning.  They were being discipled and taught how to survive and make it on their own.  And from the looks of it they weren't wasting the opportunity.  Once again Eleanor's words were being put into action.  We were the enablers.

I actually did speak tonight at devotion.  What a great way to intro Peter to the group.  To talk about his life fishing after hanging out at a place all day that looked like the Sea of Galilee.  I mean there were fishing boats with nets and sails for cryin’ out loud.  God seems to know what He's doing, doesn't He?

I didn't speak long, just talked about how we are out of the boat walking on faith towards Jesus.  And that is what we are supposed to do.  We are all going to die someday.  Do we want to die in the boat rowing against a storm worrying about whether or not we will sink like everyone else?  Or do we want to step out and stand on top of the waves?  I love being out of the boat.  I have found a new way to live and I love this.

After devotion, a couple of the girls came up to me who hadn't really talked to me all week except in short cordial conversation, and hugged me.  They told me they loved me and that I was an awesome person.  Kind of caught me off guard but it meant sooooo much to me.  What an encouragement.  They blessed my heart with those words and hugs.  

I was with a great group this week.  I am blessed to know these people and hope to stay in contact with them for a long time to come.  I was spoiled this week with a small group.  Got to do and see some things that a large group can't experience.  

Spending time with one of my dearest friends in the world, Brent Gambrell, has been such a blessing as well.  I love this man of God and love what he is doing not only in Haiti, but across America as well.  He has sacrificed a "normal" life to simply build the kingdom of God around the world.  From South Korea to Haiti and North Carolina to California.  He has a passion for God that is hard to match.  I'm honored to know Brent as well as I do and proud to call him not only my brother in Christ, but my friend.  I have learned so much from him over the years.  Can't wait to do more for this ministry and help all of them in any way I can.

Tomorrow will be a day of touring Haiti a bit.  Going to Fort Jacqes that the Haitian slaves overthrew in 1783 as well as the Baptist Mission to meet with Chris Lieb.  I think he's going to love the idea I have for BGM and BHM.  I want to raise that money for that machine to help them build for Haiti.  They could do so much more with that machine and ultimately save lives with a better quality cement.  Let's do this God!  Gonna need you to come thru big for me!

Only one more day left.....and I'm sad about that.

  

Here's how you can help Joel make a difference in Haiti. 

Worship in Kanez 

Haiti - Day Five

Day One 
Day Two
Day Three
Day Four

 Haiti - June 8, 2011

By Joel Troyer

Today was one of the most spiritually demanding days I think I have ever experienced.  I'm completely spent.  I really pray that God shows up in a big way for the next two days because I really need Him.  I think the group needs him.

Started the day by stopping on the way down the mountain so Brent could buy four rocking chairs.  After Peter and Brent talked them down on price they were loaded on top of the tap-tap until they found their homes throughout the day at the residences of people who BGM built homes for in the recent past.  It was just a final gesture of kindness and a finishing touch to the house.  A way to make it feel like “home”.

Our first stop was at HFC. This was one of Dr. Bernard's schools and orphanages and his very first one that he started.  We were greeted by about a hundred playing kids who were happy and friendly and all well dressed in their blue checkered school uniforms.  Of course, the girls all had the bows in their hair which I just love.  American kids should be required to dress like this for school.  It only costs $150 a year to put one of these children through school.....so long ND vs. UM ticket.  I will watch it on TV.  

After taking a tour of the classrooms and dorms we went outside to divide into groups.  There was an outside wall that needed to be painted so part of the group stayed to work on that while the rest of us made the trip to the top of the hill to a tent city and slum to do some door-to-door ministry and prayer.  

On the walk up the hill I couldn't help but think of how happy those children were. They knew Christ.  They were being taught of His love.  Their eyes told the story.  So did their hugs.  Their purity and joy really touched me.  They wore me out from too much “Ride your Horsie" though.

At the top of the hill we met a pastor of this little community and he began walking us through the maze and tiny cramped, urine-soaked and trash-filled alleys of this place.  What looked like a swinging, two-section barn door would be the front door of a tiny little home.  

All the clothes (what there were) and beds and tables and everything we would put in a closet or in our own separate room were all crammed into one tiny living quarter. The heat inside one of these places was overwhelming and it only accentuated the smell of where we were at.  Mold grew in many little corners and I could only imagine where the rats and mice hid while the sun peeked into the sliver of a window....if you were in a home that was lucky enough to have a window.

We found ourselves suddenly going up a very steep set of stairs and taking a hard left into.....a school?  It was a cramped little one room school where the kids all had matching brown checkered outfits.  Four of the students sat off to one side as the main room was too full.  One teacher had a chalkboard that he taught from.  We interrupted their learning so Brent could ask the teacher about how they could afford to keep these kids in school and the teacher flatly told him they couldn't.  They didn't have the money, books, facilities, food or any other of the basic things it takes to give a decent education to a child that age.  But the children were smiling and they seemed eager to learn.  Brent promised the teacher aid, and knowing Brent as well as I do, that teacher WILL get funding for those kids. 

An all too typical one-room

school with no books and one teacher.

 

We laid hands on the children and prayed over them.  It amazed me how reverent the children are in Haiti.  During church they are not jumping around and crying, nor are they that way in school.  They know they are being given an opportunity that their parents didn't have.  Even at a very young age they are keenly aware of what an opportunity they have.  They are also in a very somber country which does play a part in that as well.  

We left the school with heavy hearts and decided to stop by Tony's house who was acting as a guide to us.  Tony's house was a flat piece of concrete with piled up cement rubble around it.  It was completely leveled during the earthquake.  I remember walking up to it and it was a narrow alley that had mildew all over and smelled like someone had just urinated.  The cement incline was just that, no steps.  I felt myself losing my balance at one point and went down hard but caught myself with my left arm on the moldy cement.  Scraped some skin off so I immediately had someone give me some hand sanitizer and rubbed it thoroughly over the light wound to hopefully kill whatever organism was now attempting to enter my bloodstream.  I think the burn only lasted about 15 minutes.  Hand sanitizer sucks on open wounds.....but proved effective.

We looked over the rubble of what was once a man's home and as we stood there listening to Tony tell his story through an interpreter the Spirit of God came over Brent and he said to him, “God is telling me to build you a house, brother”.  Tony was rather astonished, but Brent assured him that God was calling BGM to have a home built for Tony.  So Tony will get a house. AMEN!!!!!!

From there it was more mazes of tiny, dirty alleys up to the top of the hill to the tent city.  We walked into a UNICEF tent where they were vaccinating babies. The heat and the smell inside this tent were almost too much to bear.  But when you looked at the babies it was impossible to leave.  Nothing can prepare you for this kind of sickness and poverty.  The sadness in the eyes of these people told me they didn't know Christ.  They had an empty, rather blank look and the children had a hard time smiling throughout the tent city.  This place was infected heavily with Cholera as well.  We didn't get nearly as much prayer done as we wanted to up there, but the children at the UNICEF building had hands laid on them and I believe God will bless that village.

We then started back down the hill to HFC where the painting was wrapping up.  At the bottom of the hill Brent began talking with about 5 young men, maybe 18 or 19 years old and sharing his testimony with them.  He told them about his past and the life he used to live.  How he used to sell women for money in Florida and about his heavy addiction to sex and drugs.  He then turned to me and I told them about my past.  How I used to do cocaine everyday and drink til I couldn't see anymore.

I told them how I was trying to cover the pain and emptiness of a life that didn't have Christ and pent up anger at God.  We told them you didn't have to have worldly possessions to be a Christian, all you needed was a heart that was willing to accept Christ and to let Him rule your life.  How He would provide a peace and happiness that could never be taken from them.  The guys were genuinely interested and we didn't feel the calling at that point to have them pray the prayer.  It wasn't the right time.  We introduced them to the pastor and told them that they needed to talk more with him to find out more of what Christ could do in their lives.  We left them with a copy of Romans to read.  We told them about Paul and his journey and how he went from a killer to a martyr.  They said they would find the pastor.

As we walked away I snapped a picture of them sitting their reading the book of Romans.  It was awesome.  Eleanor Turnbull was right.  The Haitians need to lead the Haitians to Christ.  We are the enablers.  How incredible to put her words to use like that and see it in action.  Go God!!!

Reading Romans for the first time.

Awesome.

After lunch, with a couple of very nice interns from Boston and Washington State, we headed to a place that Brent needed to see. Can't remember what it was called, but it had all new buildings and he said the last time he was there, there was a 4 story building that had been completely leveled right after the earthquake hit.  It was a staging area that people thought they could come to for medical attention....except they had no medical supplies. He said there were limbs hanging out of windows and people screaming for help.

I really saw the peace that overcame Brent at that moment as he was seeing it again with a sweet serenity. To see what was once broken beyond words, to what is now a peaceful place again. I knew he was at peace even though I saw the tears on his cheeks. One of the girls became overwhelmed and the emotion of the experiences we just had and the place we were in started to take their toll. It wasn't even noon. She was overcome with grief and so we decided it was a good time to just stop for a minute and let everyone catch their breath.  It was a tough time.  This was one of the places where amputations occurred with hacksaws and no anesthetics.  It was a place we had only heard the stories of on the news.  It was a place where many people came to die.  It was sacred ground and I could literally feel that in a place somewhere deep down in my soul that had never been touched before.  A new door was opened for me and I will never forget that hurt.  That is all on that.

 

We made one more stop up the street at a tiny clinic where the clinic director showed us 10 large pages full of names and dates.  I asked the lady what they were for and she said they are a list of the cholera patients up and down that street.  There were hundreds.  She showed me the 5 gallon bucket of hydration salts that they used to treat the cholera with, for that is all they need to live when they get infected with it.  If they don't get that they die.  The bucket was empty.

Brent immediately called Missy in Nashville to have her load salts from the warehouse for her trip down on Saturday.  Funny how the media doesn't really cover the thousands who are dying EVERY DAY from cholera.  I learned today it isn't the Haitians that started that disease either.  It was brought from the Nepalese UN peacekeeping forces into Haiti after the earthquake.  I guess they don't cover how Bill Clinton is taking 20% of the proceeds given to his disaster relief fund that he and Bush Sr. started either for “Administrative Fees”.  Yet with BGM EVERY dime that is donated goes to Haiti and God provides for Brent to support a full staff as well.  When you are not a Christian it's impossible to understand how God provides.  I'm so glad Bush removed his name from that organization.  And yet I hear people call the Haitians “pigs”.

We all met up back at the tap-tap and loaded up to go visit some finished houses.  The first one was at the edge of a tent city.  I noticed a large steeple with a cross hanging upside down, still attached somehow after all the earthquakes. The church itself was gone. This was all that remained over this dreadful place.  An upside down cross.  YET IT STILL HUNG ON!  LOVE IT!

The church was rubble, yet the cross remained

We stopped on the edge of the tent city and the other tap-tap pulled in across the street where we noticed a large crowd gathered around something.  Couldn't tell what it was, but Brent got out as Josh Evans followed him.  Josh was a trained EMT as well as a Tennessee State Representative.  Brent motioned for us to stay in the tap-tap and we saw them praying over someone.  The crowd began to disperse and we saw a young man lying there with a large amount of blood around him.  We still didn't know what happened and he looked to be unconscious.  I spontaneously broke out into prayer in the tap-tap and turned the entire situation over to God.  I prayed for healing and the power of the Holy Spirit to immediately intervene in that man's life.  As I ended the prayer they began to pick the man up and I noticed the white rags around both of his wrists.  What a desperate cry for help.  I can't condone suicide and I never will, but as I looked at his surroundings I wondered if I wouldn't try to end my misery in the same way. Life without Christ is bad enough.  Try it in Haiti. 

Suicide attempt at the tent city

They carried him across the street to a small car directly behind where I was sitting in the tap-tap. This man was alive, but motionless and just kept his eyes closed.  Maybe from the embarrassment… maybe for the attention… maybe so he couldn't see whatever demons that were torturing him. I guess I will never know.

All I do know is that he had people that cared for him and were praying for him in his worst hour. God's perfect timing. I believe we pulled in there at that time for a reason. Satan was trying to win another battle. To steal another soul from the kingdom. The demonic oppression was stifling in that place, but when light makes its presence the darkness must flee. What a battle we were in today. I felt a confidence in my prayer life like I have never felt before at that moment.  There was a new power today and the Spirit is really making a commanding move in my life.  Thank you, God, for being there for me and showing yourself to me in a real and more powerful way. But most of all thank you for being there for that young man.  He will be prayed for in the days to come.  Prove yourself to him, God.  I remember then looking back up at that cross still hanging on above us....God was reminding me He was in total control of this place.

We walked a bit after this to a new house that was recently completed in the last few months. We delivered a rocking chair to a wonderful woman who was still simply overjoyed at the gift God had given her.  She didn't even want the backside of the house to be painted just the front. That was more than enough for her.  Loved it.  Took some pics and visited and prayed with some folks and then we loaded back up to the next house.  

Delivering a rocking chair to

another finished home.  The final touch.

It was in a typically dirty place and the group had to walk quite a ways to get up the hill to it.  I chose to stay with Peter at the tap-tap to take some pics and make the ladies that were selling goods on the street laugh.  They kept calling me fou (crazy) and laughing.  It was a good time.  Gave a lot of high fives to the kids as they walked up and down the street and enjoyed their different poses for the camera.  It was fun being the silly American and the laughter helped out a lot.  

A couple goats and pigs ate their fill in the trash heap nearby and a very mature sow came walking by at one point and made herself at home in a mud puddle right in front of the tap-tap.

When the group got back Brent told us that after leaving the house, Reagan, who is one of the high school girls felt led to talk to a man at the top of a hill.  So they did.  Another young man watched and listened as Brent shared the story of Jesus with him.  The man let him finish and proclaimed to him that he was already a believer, but the young man beside him offered that he was not.  When asked if he understood the story he replied that he did and wanted to accept Jesus into his life as his Lord and Savior.  They prayed with him and he accepted Christ right there.  This was another perfect example of how we need to act when we feel the Spirit move on us.  We went from suicide to salvation in about an hour.  The darkness was fleeing.  We can pray demons out of Haiti and acknowledge them over and over, but as Brent put it to me in the airport we tend to give them too much attention.  And the demonic presence is still there no matter how many times they have been “cast out” of that country.  The biggest weapon against the enemy and the oppression over that country is PRAYER!!!  Don't give satan the time of day, just lay your hands on the people and pray for them.  The darkness has to flee!!!  The enemy is already defeated and he knows it.

It was a pretty intense afternoon. I honestly have never been involved in such visual spiritual warfare in my life.  On this day, I could literally feel the presence of warring angels around us. These people could have destroyed us if they wanted too.  They could have taken our money, our food, and our water if they so chose.  But God had his best at our side on this trip.  The hedge of protection was truly felt and very much appreciated.  I loved doing spiritual battle like this and taking it to the enemy, but we were all tired and worn down.  It had taken a toll on all of us and there were tears amongst the group and it was all I could even do from completely breaking down.  God is good.

With the chairs being delivered it was time to head home for the day.  I was thankful for Tobey and Don today as I did text them and asked them to pray for protection from the storm we were in.  I can't possibly write everything here that I saw out there today.  So much hurt and so much devastation.  So many children that just don't have a chance.

I saw heavy spiritual warfare.  There is so much more to tell.  It was just battle after battle and I don't have the time or the energy.  It was a tough day today.  We won this battle, but we are not smiling.  I didn't even have it in me to go to the crèche tonight.

I am tired.

THOUGHTS AND DEVOTION:

Tonight was the night I was supposed to speak at devotion. Great message on Peter and leaving your comfort zone. Great analogy for a bunch of spoiled white folks in Haiti right?

Something cool happened though.

God took the plans I had and threw them out the window because He had a better plan. I love His perfect timing. We began with singing and the Spirit started to move. The singing kept going and kept going and after a time I found myself on my knees at my chair weeping. The power of His presence overtook the room.

I remember thinking that right now in this place, after the day we have had, we don't need a “lesson” or an “analogy” to be given, we need the power of the Spirit to be spread out over each one of us individually.  We needed to be empowered and emboldened.

God knew that and that's exactly what He did for us tonight.  We spent the evening simply praising His name and thanking Him for another great day in Haiti.  For allowing us the privilege to be called His own and to be used to further His kingdom in this way.  I love it when God gives us these moments. When He says would you please just shut up and BE!   Quit worrying about and praying for Me to show you what MY will is for YOUR life.

How about praying for my will to be shown to you and you just going along for the ride.  It can be a bumpy ride as I found out today, but when He wraps His arms around you and lets you know that you are still His child and that He loves you so much, that's the kind of encouragement that will get me through tomorrow.  

That lets me know I'm His and since that is true I am IN HIS WILL!

Tonight was a much needed time to just rest in Him. We got Kanez tomorrow. Day 5 has ended. It was a good day in Haiti. How He loves.