Titus2Woman: Rosa

Rosa Chupp has been more of an inspiration and encouragement to me than she knows.  While family ties have given us a common bond, it has been only the past several years that our relationship has gotten closer.

I wish every woman could have a Rosa in their life.  She is a constant source of encouraging words, prayer support and example of the kind warrior for God that I want to be.   Her faith is unwavering as is her willingness to listen to a God who speaks.  

I've been blessed by Rosa's phone calls, emails and chats over a cup of coffee.  She reflects God in a way that I find refreshing and delightful.  Today, I asked Rosa to share her heart in the Titus2Woman series.  Here's what she had to say:

I grew up Amish.  I have hundreds of cousins, lots of relatives, and I speak Swiss fluently.  We communicate easily at reunions and such.  I am ever so grateful for the work ethics I learned from my Amish background.  We didn’t have much but we were appreciative of what we did have and respecting others was also a part of our way of life.  Alcohol became a problem in our home and caused a lot of pain and difficulty.  Even so, my past and the choices I’ve made are the things that have made me who I am today.

When I was a young girl, about seven, my family moved to Michigan after the death of my father where we attended the Mennonite church.  My mother became a born-again, on-fire Christian at a Full Gospel meeting.  Life was changing.  Mom really changed.  She became a prayer warrior and I learned how to pray over the years just by watching her.  In her later life, she married again and I had a wonderful stepdad too.

Rosa as a young girl

I met my husband at the church.  We went to the youth meetings but there was really no interest in each other until one night when a girlfriend and I went “tooling” in an old International pickup loaded with firewood.  As we tooled around town, I saw a 66 Chevelle Supersport that I recognized.  It was Randy.  He had that car jacked up and it was really sharp!  We sped up and caught him at a red light.  I leaned out the window and yelled out to him.  He said to meet him at the Plaza parking lot.  There he asked me to ride around with him for a while and then meet back with my girlfriend later.   But later, my friend was nowhere to be found so Randy took me home.  That night we sat on our dining room floor playing 45 RPM Supreme Singles until 4 AM.  This past August, of that year we were married and I have been Mrs. Chupp for forty years now.



An interesting side note about my husband – Randall Ray Chupp was born in a garage in Ethiopia where his parents were serving on the mission field.

I worked for the Centreville school for a little over twenty-eight years.  I retired a year from this past May.

Our first child was Rodney Dale.  He was adorable but was colicky and developed many allergies that caused bronchitis and pneumonia many times.  One of those times, we almost lost him.  I took him to the doctor.  The doctor told me there was nothing wrong with him and that I was just a new Mom and over worried.  I knew he was very sick and said I would not take him home like that so the doctor sent us over to the hospital.  My baby stopped breathing there. They got him breathing again and sent him to Kalamazoo in a special care unit vehicle with a doctor and me.  To me, Rod is my miracle baby. 

Rod, Tammy, Christopher, Rebecca and Justus

He has continued to have to deal with allergies throughout his life but he is victorious.  He married Tammy Nusbaum and they have a wonderful family.  Rod is part owner of Chupp Insurance along with his Dad.  They also own Sturgis Auto Wash.  Tammy is an RN and works at Maxim Healthcare.  Their first child, Daniel, died at 13 months due to an accident with a vehicle.  That was the hardest trial we’ve ever gone through as a family.  God’s grace has been sufficient.

Their next child is Christopher.  He is sixteen, a junior in high school, taking pre-college classes and he works at Chupp Insurance whenever he has a break from school.  He has a heart for the Lord and compassion for others and he is extremely handsome and special to his grandparents.

Their next child came as a beautiful little girl with gorgeous blue eyes.  She is Rebecca, age fourteen. She is an outstanding young girl that is capable of cooking, baking, cleaning, etc…  And she has a love for God.  She loves to go shopping with Grandma and enjoys have a special coffee with her.  The older she gets the more beautiful she becomes, inside and out.

Justus is their third child.  His is twelve, a sixth grader and a jack-of-all-trades.  Justus can just figure things out.  He’s a delight to have around, handsome, helpful, and a deep thinker too.  He likes to cook and is a people person.  He also likes to spend time with his grandparents and we all enjoy him.

All three children are involved in sports and they love it.  Their parents are proud of them.  Rod has a wonderful family.

Our daughter, Raushell Rose, was born about five and a half years after Rod.  Shelly was a beautiful baby.  Her affliction was ear infection of which she had many.  She was on meds a lot.  I wore cute little bonnets on her a lot to protect her ears.  As she grew older, she outgrew the ear infections.  She was a soft-hearted, sensitive and happy child and has grown into soft-hearted, sensitive, and happy woman.  

Shelly and Matt

As a youth, she and her brother were very active in youth group at church.  Consequently, the youth were at our home a lot.  Rod and Shelly were always close in spite of a few years age difference.  We have been a close family.

Shelly is married to Matt Gingerich – a match made in heaven, and they are very happy with their dog Stewart.  Shelly is a supervisor at Grace Health Care where she is putting her RN to good use.  Matt is part-owner of Five Star Investments.

When the children were little, we didn’t have many costly outings.  On Sunday afternoons we would often go to the Three Rivers Park.  We would take bread and popcorn along and feed the animals.   Another thing we liked to do was go to the lake and at home I used to have picnics with them in our front yard under a big tree.  Those were happy times.

The Chupp Family

My goal as a young mother was to do what’s best for my children.  To me, that meant serving the Lord.  My husband and I were not on the same page though.  Happy times became hard times when my husband was drawn away.  He was a truck driver and his interests were being drawn away from me and the family.  It was a devastating time for me.  I was a leader of women’s meetings at church.  I was involved in other things there and at the same time feeling like a failure and a hypocrite.  I was teaching others, but my own life was falling apart.

I sought help from my pastor and his wife.  It was humbling.  He advised me to stay involved and keep doing what I was doing.  I kept things up with the children the best I could.  I never talked negative or bad to them about their father.  I wanted them to respect him.   I often prayed that God would protect them from any memories that would harm them.  I had some godly friends that helped me too, still, life was hard at that time.

My husband didn’t want counseling so I went alone and got it for myself.  Eventually, after some deeply serious conversations, he decided he would get counseling too.  It was not easy.  I learned that before healing can take place, there had to be forgiveness.  That is not easy either, but it is a choice that I made.

I also learned that communication is necessary.  Communication does not mean I have to know every detail, it means we must understand each other.  It was explained to me that knowing more painful details would not be beneficial.  It took months and months of counseling to get through that time.

We were advised to have a date night once a week.  That was hard too, but we did it and still do.  It’s not hard anymore!  A date night does not mean doing something that costs money necessarily.  It’s about spending time together.

Another choice we were advised was to make was to pray together.  That doesn’t come naturally either but it eventually brings an intimacy into your life.  We still pray together.

The enemy had a plan to end our marriage and affect our children.  Through choices, getting counseling, following advice, and being willing to humble ourselves, God restored our marriage and kept our family whole.

When I look back I just want to give thanks for the pastors who are truly shepherds and give godly advice to families in trouble.  I also had Godly friends and family members that stood with me and helped me go God’s way.  If I were to give advice, I would say that the choices you make will determine your future.  Choose God’s way.

What the enemy means for evil, God means for good.

Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Today our children are grown and strong in the Lord.  They are involved in their church, their communities, and they love God and family with all their hearts.  We have come through the empty nest syndrome with joy.  We have a wonderful marriage, we communicate, we support each other, we serve God together, and we laugh a lot.  Praise God!

Randy and Rosa today

********

If you are struggling in your marriage, email Rosa and I.  We would love to pray for you!

Titus2Woman: Betty Part 2

Below is the conclusion to Titus2Woman: Betty


We had unique challenges that few kids experience.  We raised our children at the camp we were working at in Illinois.  


Kristen was 6, Jason 3, and Brian was 6 months when we moved there.  We were there 11 years, and basically the only way Jason and Brian remember growing up.  

The challenges were plentiful.  Rod was the administrator and I was the camp nurse as well as being involved in the kitchen, assisting the first five years and food service director the last six years.   

 

Finding family time was tough.  Not only did we live at the camp, but someone always lived in the apartment in our basement.  Besides working together with staff, we lived at the camp with most of the permanent staff.  We ate with them,  went to the small Mennonite church close by with them, and were in small groups with them.  It was hard for me to really find someone to be my sounding board since we were all so intertwined together.  My friend, from back home became a much-needed ear for me as did my sisters.   


We felt like we lived in a fish bowl, with people watching us and our actions.  Our personal mail came with the camp mail, and people were expecting our kids to behave all the time.  Camp kids were known as Camp Brats, but that was a label we didn’t want placed on our kids. 


In the summer, the challenge for our kids would be giving up their space for basically four months to 600 kids throughout the summer - as well as year-round groups that came on the weekends.  


Also, in the summer, we opened up our house to the summer staff we would hire, which numbered about twenty on the weekends.  I really enjoyed having the staff the first several years, and would have themed parties, such as a pet party, a corndog party, and a vacation party, which we all dressed appropriately for.  It was not unusual for us to come home from a much needed evening get away for the family and find our small living room packed with the staff watching a movie.   


As the kids got older and we grew more weary, I would put a red stop sign in my kitchen window at our house if we needed just family time with no extras hanging around.  If staff saw that sign they knew we just needed to be alone.  


Another thing that was hard for our kids was that we were so incredibly busy that they were not able to participate in summer sports.  Brian did try baseball one year, and the babysitter whom the camp would hire each summer, would drive him to practice and the games.  Of course there were games we missed since we had people to feed and attend to back at the camp.   Also, since we had groups usually on Sundays, we wouldn’t make it to church.  We always found a ride for the kids, though, or Rod took them when he had the Sunday off.  


Rod and I both felt the job at the camp would lend us being with our kids since we were accessible at most times.  The kids could come down to the lodge and see us whenever, and would even end up working in the kitchen or serving food.  But you know even though we were there for them, it tended to be a more physical presence than really “being” with them one on one.  


There were always distractions it seemed.  And sometimes the summer staff, who were usually high school and college students, would discipline our kids in ways we didn’t agree with or teach them things we didn’t like. But the blessings of raising our kids at a camp have far outweighed the negatives.  They learned to know, and respect, people from all walks of life, from the homeless, people of all nationalities, volunteers, recovering substance abuse people, 400 Harley riders, (with tattoos I would have to cover my children’s eyes from seeing ) to the church leaders.   What a blessing for us all for it seemed the kids could always find someone to hang out with.  


I will never forget being in the kitchen cooking for a Chinese group, and looking out to the dining area at the camp where they were showing a movie for the kids.  There amongst all the dark haired children sitting in rows staring at the screen was our very blonde 3 year old Brian.  He seemed to enjoy the movie even though it was in Chinese.   


Our children, since we worked late at night, would go to campfire each evening with the campers and join in with group games. Each one of our children accepted Christ at camp.   They were able to fish and boat in the lake, swim in the pool, take night hikes, participate in mud hikes, ice skate, tubing,  going down a zip line, and so many more things a child seldom gets to do on a regular basis.  There also was a challenge for Rod and I to decide what to do with all the tied dyed shirts, and other crafts they had made in the craft house, that came with a large amount of money on our tab for all they made the entire summer.    


When we were leaving the camp and deciding where to go next, Kristen, who was halfway through her senior year, asked us not to both work if we decided to continue in camping.  I know that there are things she wished she could have done, but was unable to because of our busy schedules.  She didn’t want her brothers to experience the same.  It was hard to leave camp, but we knew God had slammed the doors and windows there and was leading us elsewhere.  We needed to be obedient to wherever He wanted us to go.   


It was hard to leave Kristen behind in Illinois to finish high school when we moved to Michigan.  There were a lot of 3 ½ hour trips taken to see her last concerts and other activities that seniors experience that time of the year.   


Rod and I were burning out from giving, but not being fed spiritually.  I was becoming resentful of the things that I had to miss because of the camp, the final straw being when I had to miss Kristen getting crowned Homecoming queen since we were in Iowa, at a staff retreat that I had to be at.  


The Lord has been so faithful and good, and we would not be where we are in our walk and relationship with the Lord if it weren’t for the move and FFM.   Our life verse is Proverbs 3:5-6.  Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.   Things didn’t always make sense to us, but we have found when we are obedient to His calling and leading we are blessed if we go. 
    

I asked Kristen recently if she feels that living at a camp affected our family today and how.  She believes it has, and describes our family today as a “fluid” family.  We are a family that will invite others to stay with us if there is no place for them, we entertain with meals, and help others when there is a need.  We are a social family not minding having people around or with us.   It does my heart good when I see or hear of our children helping others not expecting anything in return, and Jason even went back a few summers ago to volunteer for a week working with the ropes course and zip line.  I believe each one of our children have that servants heart that I prayed for them to have and they saw demonstrated so much at camp. 

These are the things I would tell myself if I were 25:
 - Not to think that my house has to be in perfect order, it’s o.k. to have it be a little messy.  
 - I need to be more laid back and not to get anxious so quickly.  
 - Not to yell at my children and husband (who has helped me immensely since he such a laid back, easy going type.)  
 - It is O.k. to say "no" and not try to do everything for everybody- you don’t need to be a people pleaser.  
 - Play with your children, spend quality time with them, they grow way to fast.  
 - Don’t expect your children to be perfect.   It is o.k. that your child doesn’t have new Easter clothes for church, and they can also wear tennis shoes and jeans to church. 

Rod and I have been empty nesters for seven years and we love it.  It was hard to see that last one go, but our time is much more flexible.  I don’t have to cook nutritious meals all the time, and leftovers are great to serve two or more times in a row.  

I love it when the kids come home, and even more so now with grandchildren, a fiancé for Jason, and Brian’s girlfriend.  It gives me a chance to cook all those things they love that Rod and I seldom eat.  I do miss the discussions at meals and the entertainment they provided at meals.  But I love it when they call for a cooking question or other advice.  (Even the call I got one time at midnight, wondering if you soak lentils overnight.)  That just makes me feel like I have done my job and taught them they can be on their own, they are self sufficient, and they also won’t starve  : )     

*I would encourage mothers to choose their battles.  Ask yourself it will matter in a year and that is a help to which ones you choose.

*Listen to your children, they sometimes have great wisdom.  When Kristen was 3 months from being 16 she was asked to go to homecoming.  When I reminded her of the rule of no dating till you’re 16, she replied, “So, will 3 months make me more mature than what I am now? “   Kristen made sense and she went.

* Don’t put labels on your children or call them brats, monsters, or refer to them being bad.  Kids take things pretty literally and may begin to think they truly are those things you say.

*   Don’t expect one child to be like the other.  God designed each one differently and each comes with their own gifting, qualities, and quirks.  School may come easier for some, but not for all.  Don’t expect them all to be the same academically.

* Follow through with the action of discipline that you spoke to your child when they were doing something they weren’t to do.  Be persistent in the area of  discipline, instead of just throwing up your hands or doing it yourself.

*Don’t talk about your weight, or how you perceive yourself to be, physically, in front of them.  I had lost 30 pounds once and still stated I was fat even though I weighed 105.    I would put food in my mouth and decided it wasn’t worth it and go spit it out.   I worked for Weight Watchers for years and was basically focused on my physical appearance.  When Kristen was a freshman she developed an eating disorder.  I feel that part of the reason for it was what she had seen and heard the things I said or did as well of an abuse that had been repressed.

* Counseling is not a bad thing.  We had some family counseling when Kristen was working through her abuse and it really made clear to us the dynamics of our family and made us closer.

* Teach your children they need to wait for things.  Don’t give them everything they want.  Also, if money is tight, sit them down with you and tell them that things are tight and for the time being there can’t be any extras or candy at the checkout.  Don’t go into all the details, but reassure them things are o.k. it just is a period to watch what you spend.   I felt it made it easier when we did this with our kids.

*There are sacrifices that go with parenting.  Children do get sick, and usually at holidays or other special events planned is sure to be when they do!  Even though you don’t want to miss out, stay home with that child, (either parent), so your child doesn’t pass it along.  There are so many people these days that can’t miss work to take care of sick children, and single moms, especially that depend on that income.  It may be a disappointment then, but will it matter in a year?

* Don’t work against your child’s teacher, but work with them. Sometimes it may be necessary, such as when Jason’s 5th grade teacher who had been teaching forever, had health issues that really interfered with her teaching and teaching methods.  Don’t always side with the child, but with the teacher.  Find out all the facts before jumping to conclusions if there seems to be a problem with school.

* I remember not wanting to take my children to the doctor because of the expense.  But they are worth it, and God gave them to you to care for.  I am glad, even though it was more expensive, that we took Jason to an eye specialist for his eye problem than just an optometrist. 

* Read to your children from birth on up, play games with them, sing and dance around, while hoping the neighbors aren’t looking through the windows, and make memories.    Make learning opportunities fun.  Before getting a computer we had a set of encyclopedias near the table.  During meals I would grab one and we would play trivia on different subjects.  

*It seems these days that some parents feel their children should be in every activity.  When this is done I notice that they begin to attend church, especially Wednesday nights, less and less.  Make church a priority.  It is the best activity they can ever be a part of.  I heard once someone say this about church:  “it use to be called Sabbath, then it became the Holy Day, then it became Sunday, and now it is the weekend”.  Please don’t let your child see church as the weekend. 

*Remember you are in charge, not your child.  Let them see you as a parent, not just their best friend.

*When kids are old enough give them a clothing allowance.  We would give three times a year.  This started for us when Kristen always wanted white sneakers when she already had several pairs and t-shirts as well.  It took the pressure off of me feeling bad to say no all the time, taught her that labels aren’t always worth paying the money for, and she became a more responsible, bargain loving, shopper.     

        

Titus2Woman: Betty Part 1

From the moment we discovered we had honeymoon horror stories in common, Betty Detweiler and I became fast friends.  She is a wife of one of our church's elders, but she is so much more than that to many of the young women in our community.

For a while, she was a mentor to the MOPS steering team that I was a part of.  We shared plenty of laughs during those full-of-rabbit-trail-meetings, and I think that is one of the best attributes I have learned from Betty - to laugh... no matter your age or station in life.  Since then, Betty and I have worked together on other projects at church and, boy, do we have fun with all the crazy ideas we come up with.

Betty always has a story to tell from raising her children, so I won't keep you waiting... here is Betty!

- My husband’s name is Rod and we have been married 34 years.

- We have three children and 2 granchildren : Kristen who is soon to be 31, is married to Aaron Short, and they have 2 children; Noah who is almost 4, and Lillian who is 1.  We were so blessed when the Lord gave us the gift of those two children.  We are in awe of the sacrifice the birth parents made when they decided to place their babies up for adoption.  

Lillian and Noah adoptions are both open adoptions which at first I questioned.  But I see what a benefit it is for the birth parents to see and know the mommy and daddy they chose to be parents to their babies and  to see how they are being raised knowing Jesus, and their physical needs are well taken care of.  They both come from Christian families, and we have come to love Lillian’s birth mom and family who have a lot of contact with Kristen and Aaron.  We were all together for her dedication and first birthday.  It was such a great weekend celebrating Lillian.  Noah’s birthparents aren’t as involved but keep in contact.  We love them too and words can never express the love and the gratitude we have for them.

Kristen, who as a little girl didn’t play much with dolls, but instead played school and nurse.  She is still playing those roles as she is a nurse practitioner in the hematology area at the U of M.  She deals with blood cancers and enjoys the research and does some presentations.  She and Aaron gave us the best gift of making our trek to see them much shorter, when in the spring they moved to Canton, Michigan from Rochester, MN where she worked 8 years at Mayo’s.

Jason was our little inventor and “take apart and put back together” child. He received his first tool box, with real tools, when he was 4.  When Jason was in 2nd grade I got a call from his teacher with a concern that Jason may be a “little retarded”.   I volunteered a lot at the school and became a “professional” room mother so hearing her say that wasn’t as terrible as it may sound and that word, retarded, was used a lot back then.  He was spelling words backwards and would skip sections when he did his schoolwork papers.  Of course I cried.  I heard once that a mothers self-esteem is wrapped up in her children, and I felt like a failure that day.   

I called my sister, crying, and after talking to her we came to the conclusion he may have a tracking problem just as her daughter, my niece, did.  I greeted him at the door with a pencil, that when I held it before his face and asked him look at it as I brought it to his nose.  Sure enough!  His left eye strayed outwards.  Jason was always persistent and never gave up.  He worked for 1 year on his eye exercises the specialist gave us to strengthen the muscle of his eye . 

The specialist told us he would be a person that would not enjoy reading, would have bad handwriting, would have trouble with spelling and be a hands on, outdoors person.   He was right!  I worried so much about how he would do in school, especially high school.   School did not come as easy for him as it did for his sister and little brother.  He was a determined child and that continues today.  We thank the Lord for spell check and the tutors he used at college.  And as the specialist said he isn’t a reader and doesn’t have the greatest handwriting.   

I didn’t want Jason to have a label put on him when he was small so I never told him what his teacher said until we were walking across the Tri State campus after his graduation where he graduated with honors and an engineering .  I remarked to him that he did good for being a “little retarded.”   He now lives in Warsaw, IN, and designs instruments for joint replacements at Zimmer and even has a few patents.  He just got engaged to Mallory, the Christian wife I had prayed for since he was an infant.  We look forward to her joining our family.  

I hope that what I wrote can be an encouragement for those of you who have a child that struggles in school.   The Lord had put a gifting into each of my children and it has been fun to see that the jobs they have now , correlate with those things they enjoyed when they were preschoolers. It seemed when they found that niche during the school years they flourished in that area.

Brian was our little surprise.  To be honest I have not ever told him that, but will have to if he were to read this.  I haven’t told him that because I didn’t want him to think he wasn’t wanted. I cried when I found out I was pregnant.  But having only 2 children was our plan, not Gods.  Brian was our entertainer and so unlike his brother, but more like his sister.  He also was a perfectionist.  If he would color outside of the lines he would throw the page away and start another.   He was really our only child to bring home homework when he was in kindergarten.  You see Brian, when he was 2, got a hold of this little scissor that I left laying on the quilt I had just started to quilt.  When I came back to quilt I just cried.  There were little slashes from one end of the quilt to the other.  When Brian saw me cry he, of course, joined in.  I couldn’t spank him since it really was my fault for letting them there - but we did ban him from scissor.  In his preschool evaluation they said he needed more practice cutting.  When he got to kindergarten he brought home cutting homework!    

Brian graduated from Trine University 3 years ago with a secondary education degree in history and geography.   While in college he discovered he enjoyed working in the administrative areas so the first 2 years after school he was a consultant for Delta Chi and traveled in the south visiting chapters and helping establish some at universities.  While doing that he met his girlfriend, Kristen, who lives in Florida.  He now lives there and is substitute teaching and working at Outback as a server, since teaching jobs are not plentiful there.  It was only God that could connect Brian with Kristen, a young woman that loves the Lord, and we love as well.

One goal I had when my children were young was to have fun and make memories.  Here are a few of the things we did as a family.

-When Brian’s class at school was counting to 100 and celebrated by making something using 100 things,  for some reason I discovered at that time that our ages, Rod’s and mine, and the three kids, would equal 100 on Dec. 10^th, when Jason had his birthday.  We did a celebration of our family’s 100.  We ate 100 M&M’s,  100 Skittles, etc.  We topped off the night by watching 101 Dalmations.   I know it is 101, but was the closest thing I could find for a movie with 100 in the title.  We weren’t 100 long since Kristen celebrated her birthday 5 days later.  I feel very old now that our ages total 189, and if we were to include Aaron and the grandkids it would equal 225!  The years go so fast when you have kids.

-We had  a “can” meal.   We had simple meals whenever Rod was away recruiting for summer staff and once I decided to make it really simple.  While we were at the grocery store I had each child pick out one can of something.  That can of food is what they ate for supper that night.  I didn’t really care if it wasn’t the most nutritious lunch, I had a feeling they would survive!

-I always liked to celebrate unusual days.  In Illinois the children were off for Pulaski Day.  If you were to ask the average citizen on the streets and ask who Pulaski was no one would know.  But since he had been a polish general we, of course, celebrated with polish sausage and sauerkraut.   

St. Patrick's day we would have green mashed potatoes, green jello, etc.   

But April Fool’s was always a favorite.  One year I made a marble cake…..yes, with real marbles, and another stitched underwear together using 1 stitch, so when they went to dress all their underwear came out all connected.   

My very favorite was when I had supper cooking in a crock pot in my bedroom while in the kitchen I was creating a disgusting looking supper for the kids. Because I knew I couldn’t keep a straight face Rod placed it on the table.  It was a layer of canned spinach which I had placed 5 ham hocks on.  To top it off I had drizzled it with chocolate sauce.  Brian, who was our pickiest eater when he was young, started to cry when I said everyone had to eat it.  Eventually the crock pot came out with the real supper.

-When Brian was in 5^th grade his small class of 11 had a presidential election of a president that had died.  Brian chose Taft and he had to campaign and give a speech in front of the small school he was at in IL.  He had on a suit and had to step up on a box so he could reach the microphone.  He was always the shortest in the class until high school.   The votes were cast and Brian was elected president.  The next day there was the Inaugural Ball.  Each child could invite 2 people, so Rod and I were invited. Being the mother of the president I knew I must dress appropriately for the event.   So out of one of my dress up bins, which I had a few since kitchen staff loved to dress up for  the campers (Betty was a cook at a camp for many years in Illinois), I found an outfit deemed worthy of such an event.  Needless to say, the other candidate’s mom’s, who were all jean clad, must have thought me strange, but the 5^th grade girls loved it! 

Brian and I had the 1st dance, along with vice president Kennedy and his mom, to the theme from “The Titanic”. I had been a room mother since Kristen started kindergarten till Brian was in 5th grade. I loved it, and seeing me dressed in weird outfits was fairly normal for the kids. Rod even joined me as a room parent one year, since no other mother was to be found to help me. Quite the costume he had for the Halloween party for Jason’s class.  The little girl I watched was a bride, Brian was the groom, I was the father of the bride, and of course Rod was the mother of the bride, wiping tears throughout the whole party.

- Since my three children were snoopy at Christmas, I would wrap their gifts and then put them into another bigger box with marbles, macaroni, etc, so when they saw their gifts under the tree and shook them they wouldn’t know what it was.  It’s no wonder I hate wrapping gifts today since I doubled wrapped that year. 

-Some years I would put different names on them, usually Bible names so they wouldn’t know which gift was theirs.  When they opened their gifts, taking turns, they would first have to tell something about the Bible character they had.  I had a key so I could remember which gift belonged to whom.  One year I lost the key and so when we opened a gift we had to give it to the appropriate person if it didn’t belong to that person - we never did that again!   

We continue some form of that today.  Now I tape Outburst cards on the bottom of the gift, and they have to get 5 out of the ten correct to be able to open that gift.  If they don’t succeed they wait till their next turn and try again.  It makes opening of the gifts more fun instead of just tearing into them.   Kristen even carried out the tradition when we had Christmas at her house one year.  We hid the gifts throughout the house and when it was your turn to open, you had to go find it.  Now each gift had a clue with it.  She had taken very close up photos of something that would pertain to where it was hidden.  Each person checked their clue on her computer before going on the hunt.  

-I will never forget the night when there was to be a meteor shower that could only be viewed for 2 nights, between the hours of 2-4  A.M.  I got out of bed and checked to see if it was a good viewing night, since the night before it was foggy.  Seeing that it was clear I woke everyone up, including a couple of Kristen’s friends who joined us for such ventures, and we gathered up sleeping bags, and blankets and headed out into the chilly night in our pajamas with warm outer wear.    We all laid down in a clearing, the Front Meadow, where camp kids played games, across from our house.  The free show, which only the Lord could produce,  began and we would all declare aloud when we saw one.   Afterwards we had hot chocolate and back to bed we all went.

- One Sunday, after I had worked feeding a large group all weekend, I went home tired, wanting to do nothing. Brian, who was about 3rd or 4th grade, called earlier to the lodge to see when I was coming home. Talk about feeling like you have gone to heaven!!!!  Brian, dressed in a suit, greeted me at the door, with a towel draped over his arm, and announced “Your bauth is ready, Madame.”   There in our tiny bathroom we all shared, was the bathtub full of hot water with bubbles.  The light was turned off since he had put lit candles on the ledges of the tub.  He had quiet, soft music playing.  And to top it all off, there was a small plate with strawberries dipped in chocolate.  I have a feeling he had help from his siblings.  That caring and concern they had then is still is part of them today, all three.  Each time we talk they will tell me, and Rod too, that they love us, without us being the initiators.  And of course always hugs.   I really believe that living in such a tiny house, where we couldn’t escape one another, made us a closer family.

My specific goals were to raise our children in a Christian home, and that they would follow and serve the Lord when they became adults with servant hearts.  To be respectful and have good work ethics, which seemed to be lacking in so many kids then,  and as I said before, to have fun and make memories. 

To be continued next Friday...

Titus2Woman: Nancy Nunemaker

Nancy is a woman I have known my whole life.  I have always admired her gift of being able to create beautiful things.  She has a knack at being able to take items and turn it in to a thing of beauty!  Her home is gorgeous and surrounded by equally gorgeous flowerbeds!

By Nancy's own admission, she didn't experience any major difficulties as a young wife and mother, but I'm sure you'll agree that there is value in what she has to say still.  In her life, we can see a woman who is dedicated to serve her family and care for those around her.  It doesn't always take a exceptional circumstances to bring out the exceptional qualities that we possess.  

 

Nancy's life is a reflection of that.  She found value as a wife and mother and in creating beauty for others to enjoy.  Here's what Nancy had to say...

My name is Nancy Nunemaker, and I have been married to Brian for thirty-three years.  We have 2 grown children, John & Emily.  

John lives in Mishawaka, IN, with his wife, Stephanie.  He has his own business, and it's technical computer stuff that's way over my head. He is a Computer Programmer, does Web Developing, Consulting and Speaking.   

 Emily lives on our home farm, near Burr Oak, MI, with her husband, Brandon, and their 3 children, Nicholas (8), Sadie (5) and Jack, (6 months).  She is a Dental Hygienist, but is currently a stay-at-home mom.  We are happy to have the grandchildren growing up in the same home that our children did.

I have always enjoyed listening to my children talk.  They said the funniest things.  Here are a couple of favorite memories from when they were small:

When John was quite young, we were driving through a small town, and saw a Postal Worker, on foot, delivering the mail.  John was intrigued because we had a rural carrier, he'd never seen one walking.  He asked me a few questions, then turned to me with a look of utter disbelief, and said, " You mean he has to WALK to deliver the mail?"  

I responded, "Yes", and was kind of shocked by how horrified he was.  He loved to be outside, so what's so bad about this job?  

His next words made it clear to me why he was so shocked, "Even if you send a letter to Indiana?"

When Emily was little, she went through a phase where she wanted to do everything herself.  She was quite proud of herself when she learned to use a cheese slicer and I had to watch that she didn't help herself to the cheese too often.  

One morning, I was getting ready in the bathroom, when she came in carrying a piece of cheese.  I was about to scold her, when she declared that she had cut two, and this one was for me.  She said, " I'm giving you this one, because it's the biggest".  Now, what mother could turn that down? I felt my heart burst a litte with pride, since I had raised this unselfish little girl, so I took a bite to please her.  Then, she turned to go, stopped, and said, "It's also the one that fell on the floor".

Some of my very favorite times when they were little, were after their baths, when they were freshly washed, sweet smelling little bodies all snuggled in with me in our recliner, and I would read to them before they went to bed.  I am a huge believer in reading to your children.  I read to them from the time they were babies.  They don't even have to understand the words, to appreciate your tone and the cadence in your voice.  I think if you develop a love for books and reading in a young child, they will do well in school and even life.

   

I spent a lot of time with them in that rocking chair.  I always loved to rock my babies.  Later, statistics showed that it's even good for their inner ear, and in developing good balance.  I always knew it was good for them (and for me).

     

I, also, loved to hear them playing in another room.  John made all the loud banging, motor and crashing noises that are common to little boys, and Emily sang as she played.  Now I enjoy hearing Nicky and Sadie play in the same ways.

     

Other good memories were in their teen years.  I did a lot of driving to and from games.  I heard a lot of information on those drives.  I knew about them and their friends.  If you make the effort to be available to them, they will share a lot of good things with you.  We had a lot of late night talks.  Develop a relationship early, if you don't listen to them when they are little, they won't be interested in talking to you when they are older.  Also, pick your fights carefully.  If it's not indecent, illegal or immoral, then leave them alone.  It isn't worth damaging your relationship for personal preferences.  Hair and clothes are not really that important in the grand scheme of things.  I'm sure everyone has worn or done something that their parents didn't like. 

     

The challenges that I faced as a young mother, were common to young farm wives of that time.  (Maybe still).  We didn't have cell phones and radios starting out.  I would cook 3 meals a day, starting early with the breakfast, at home.  Lunch and Dinner were served in the field.  It felt like I spent all day cooking, packing up the food & the kids, and hauling it to the fields for Brian and whoever was working for him at the time.  (They were never in the same field!)  I didn't always go to the right field either :) Then I'd haul it all back to the house, carry it in, put the kids down for a nap, clean up the lunch, and start cooking supper, just to repeat the whole process.  It was a lot of work.  At least the kids got to see their dad often.  I had to remember how my mom's generation had to do everything the hard way, and I actually had it pretty easy compared to them!  

Now, things are much easier and on the rare occasions that I need to go to a field, I can call ahead, and he can tell me exactly where to go.  I'm also, very seasoned, at spending time alone.  Not only do I not mind it, I actually like it!  I had quite a few years of feeling like a single mom.  When things were more difficult, I always tried to never complain.  I think children will emulate you, and if you complain about their daddy working too much, then the children will complain.  If you make the best of it, and mention how hard he works for your family, then they will appreciate his efforts too.  Try to be content in whatever your situation is.  The best thing you can do for your kids, is to love and appreciate their dad.  It's also best for you, because he will be there long after the kids are gone.

     

Our nest has been empty for some time.  It was a little tearful initially, I loved every minute of having my children around me.  I still do. I now enjoy their adulthood.  Our lives have gotten easier.  Two of the benefits of an empty nest are, more time and more money.  (Two things you never have enough of when they are young).  We have a lot of interests, so we have been able to do some of the things we've always wanted to.  We especially enjoy traveling.  It's nice not to have to always plan around someone else.  We can pick up and go whenever we want to. 

     

What would I say to the 25 year old me, if I could?  I'd say," Enjoy it!  It goes really fast!!!"

     

My goals when my children were young, were first and foremost, to raise children that loved the Lord.  I also, wanted them to love each other.  Don't worry, it does get better.  My kids don't fight at all any more :) I also wanted them to like reading and to do well in school and life.  I think I have accomplished those goals. 

     

I had the best childhood ever.  My parents loved each other and me.  I've tried to raise my family in the way that they raised me.  Hopefully, that legacy continues.