Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Coffee Talk Part 1


Last week’s episode struck a chord with many of you, so today I’m going to dive in a little deeper into the subject of mom life and marriage.  No matter your age, I think you’ll find some encouragement on how to walk with success in whatever stage of life you’re in.

Let’s get to it!

Welcome and thank you for joining me here again this week.  I love hearing from so many of you about how you are enjoying the podcast.  Each message and comment warms my heart.  My goal and passion is to help people discover a joy filled life - and it can be possible!  No matter how hard your situation may be, I promise that it can get better.

If this is your first time here, I hope you’ll hang around.

I received so much feedback from last week’s episode that i decided to push pause on my original plans for this week’s podcast and just take time to chat over a cup of coffee.  I meet with women all the time for coffee but since I can’t meet with each of you, let’s pretend its happening here and now.

Grab some coffee and snuggle in and we’ll have ourselves a coffee date.

In this space, we talk about everything from motherhood to marriage and God to groceries.  Maybe a little more God than groceries.  But the Bible does say that we are to do all things to the glory of God - so whether you’re wiping bums or writing books, it matters.

Do what you’re called to do with excitement, energy and gratitude.   Become a student of your calling.   If you are a teen trying to manage home life, school and friendships, enjoy those years.  Eliminate the things that steal your joy - except school.  Go on a mission trip, train for a 5k, set a health goal, write a letter to your grandma, volunteer at your church or local ministry.  Clean your room, better yet, go clean up the kitchen without being asked.  You’ll find serving others brings more joy than being served. 

If you’re a mom with young kids, be present, be intentional.  Don’t over educate yourselves on the world’s ideas of motherhood.  God gave us the tools we need and it’s built right into our DNA - it’s called common sense and the Holy Spirit.

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Keep it simple.  Have fun, be safe, show love.  If it doesn’t fall under those three areas, it’s probably unnecessary.


That’s too simple.

But it’s not.  If we’re honest, much of what we do is for the opinion of others.  I said it last week and I stand by this - motherhood is hard enough and when we add in the negative commentary coming at us like a flood in our world today, it only makes it more difficult.  A quote I heard a while back is this, “When you choose knowledge before you choose life, knowledge will kill your life.

Let that sink in.  We are inundated with knowledge and racing about trying to implement all we are told to do, living is passing us by. 

So it’s time to KISS that mindset goodbye - KISS - Keep it simple sweetie.  Get back to basics.  Take it down to the studs.  Consider what matters the most and then start rebuilding from there.

If you’re a young mom and feel overwhelmed and stressed out, reach out to me.  Let’s look at what the challenge is and make a plan.  You can connect with me at or my Instagram handle is lynette_carpenter_

Here’s the thing, I rocked my babies alongside mamas that had different opinions on the best way to raise children.  Potty training, formula vs breastfeeding, co-sleeping vs self soothers, schedule vs no schedule, ..  Those babies are all adults or teens now and guess what, I over thought things that didn’t really matter.  

My oldest was walking by 9 months which I attributed to my stellar abilities as a mother. 

Boy, was I wrong!

Looking back, I remember having a huge attitude shift as a mother when going from my first to my second child.  I wanted my oldest to be the best and the first.  The best at saying his numbers and letters, the first at being potty trained and walking and talking.  And I realized I was measuring my value as a mother on his performance and abilities.  Which is totally unfair to my child - and myself.

So then my daughter came racing into this world like a freight train..and the easy experience I had had with my laidback first born was met with the stark contrast of an adorable tornado we named Amy.  She was different from Tyler from day one.  So when she started crawling, I realized quickly that the longer I could contain her to a limited amount of real estate, the easier my life would be.  So when she started reaching the age of walking, I didn’t help her along like I did with Tyler.  And I held her off until 14 months old.  

The memory makes me laugh.  She truly got into EVERYTHING.  She climbed on the table, the counters, the stove.  I have pictures of her stripped down to just a tshirt and pulling dry goods out of the cabinets as fast as she could go. She unfolded laundry as fast as I could fold it.  She’d climb into the crib with Baby Corey so she could sneak his pacifier out of his mouth since she wasn’t allowed to have one anymore.  She cut her friend’s hair,  helped another friend smear poop on the pastor’s van at church and then  ran naked down the road that same day when our friends had come over for a barbeque. She was crazy!   

 But, we determined to direct that active, fearless, tireless mindset  into something productive and today, she is a small business owner and a happy wife to her husband, Coletin.  She married young but she was ready for it and is approaching married life with joy and passion.

Tyler is also married and one of the kindest people I know.  They approach life differently but are both wonderful young adults whom I am beyond proud of.   

But here’s the thing.  I don’t remember which one potty trained the earliest or easiest.. But I know they are.  

I don’t remember how long I let them crawl into our bed with us at night, but I can tell you they don’t anymore.  

I don’t remember which one ate the healthiest.. Actually, one ate their own poop and the other was always eating cat food so I call those both a lose lose.

But what I do know is that we were intentional.  We tried our best to be present.  We created special family experiences - from free to a little pricey at times - all special.  We taught them to work, probably were stricter than we needed to be and prayed hard for wisdom.. Because parenting is not an easy task.  

But it’s doable.  And enjoyable.  So as I said, become a student of your calling.  If it’s motherhood, find the best way to do it, but don’t overcomplicate it.

Have fun, be safe, show love.

A few questions came in from last week so I want to address those yet.  Several of you asked about my notebook schedule.  So I have used a small leather binder in the past and filled it with my own paper.  It also held my Ramsey envelopes and grocery list.

These days, my grocery list is on a shared note on my phone - that way anyone in our household can add their needs to the list as well.

I will probably go back to the leather binder someday, but lately I have been using old notebooks the kids have brought home at the end of the year.  I get a weird joy out of using them up.

I’ll share this in a blog so you can see photos and the link will be in the show notes.  This is the start to what a typical week looks like.  I fill it in as my list of things to do grows.

A couple of you asked about when I start my day.  I tend to wake up easy - lately it’s been around 5:30 or 6:00.  This is a blessing and a curse.  My recommendation is to consider what your responsibilities are and what you want to accomplish in a day.  So many things will come into play - your unique physical needs, your children and their sleep styles as well as what your schedule looks like.

For a SAHM though, I advise you to get up and get to your job even though it’s in your home.  Just my advice, no judgment if you do it a different way.  I personally found it to be helpful to get up by 7, make my bed, get dressed and put on some shoes.  Support your feet!  But there was a season where no matter how quiet I was, one of my kids (usually Amy or Kobe) would hear me and get up and join me.

Here’s the thing about seasons, they change.  None of my children come and sit on my lap while I’m trying to have my quiet time anymore - but if they listen to this, I bet they’ll try.  So if you’re in that season where you’re trying to quietly enjoy coffee and Jesus, don’t feel frustrated if your kids wake up before you’re ready.  Let them see you spending time with the Lord.  Invite them to join you in it.  Give them a journal to write or scribble in, pour a mug of chocolate milk and let them be a part of your alone time with God.

Ok, favorite question here! How can I make home a place of peace for my husband when he comes home?  And how can I help him be the best dad/husband he can be?

Oh girlfriend, you just opened up my favorite subject!  

But we’re out of time this week so I hope you’ll hit that follow button and join me back here again next week.

But before we leave, let me pray for you.

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