The Privilege of Serving

What does your day hold?  What duties lie before you?

As a mother, I see endless need-to-dos overshadowing my want-to-dos… but somewhere inside all the demands, my attitude changes when I recognize the high calling - the honor - the privilege I've been given in being called to serve my family – and those around me.

To SERVE isn't something our society promotes.  It isn't something most dream of growing up to be – ‘one who serves’.  It isn't even something we think of in connection with the concept of parenting...or marriage (ouch).

It's backwards thinking...to lower oneself... to seek to serve...’more of you, less of me’.

It’s counter-cultural.

But then so was Jesus.

And I find that when I yield myself to Him, He changes my perspective.  And suddenly, the thankless, endless and unnoticed become my calling…my joy… and my privilege.

You see, Satan wants me to give up.  He tells me all my efforts are in vain – not just with mothering… but in relationships…in ministry…in everything. 

But my Abba tells me not to listen to the lies.  He calls out – telling me to hang in there – that I have no idea what each small seed will produce…and that while it may not seem this way today, someday I’ll look back and recognize the privilege that is mine in being invited to SERVE the ones before me.

Imperfect Perfection and this Thing Called Grace

Ahh... the delightfully decorated trees…smiling children… fuzzy socks and twinkling lights.  All shimmering in the flickering glow of a fireplace found perfectly garnished with greenery, stockings and dreams of what Christmas will bring.

These cozy scenes keep cropping up across Facebookland… and if that’s you… I’m happy for you. 

Really. 

I am.

And if I could bring myself to fudge the truth, perhaps I could stage a few scenes that would match those found scattered throughout Pinterest and Twitter.  Maybe, just maybe I could convince you that this is exactly what took place within the four walls of the Carpenter home. 

But alas…  and I sigh.

In my corner of the world, few see the beauty of perfectly spaced ornaments, festive sweaters, and the calming harmonies of harp strings singing out the melodious notes of “Silent Night”.    I am raising three boys after all.  (My daughter is my only ally.)

Trust me, when raising boys there are no festive sweaters…. no steaming mugs of hot apple cider… no sweet pleasantries given and received while placing the star perfectly settled upon the highest bough.

Even our fireplace has failed me.  It happens to be on wheels… and it needs an outlet.

The truth is, around our house the ornaments sat in a box for days on end until Mama Bear began using it as leverage. 

“You want electronic time?  Go hang twenty ornaments on the tree… then we’ll talk.”

“You hit your brother?  That’s it, Buster – that’s twenty-five ornaments for you!”  (“But mo-ooooom..”)

After three days, there were only a couple dozen left rolling around in the bottom of the box, so I called it good and shoved it in the crawl space to wait out the next several weeks until the Holidays are over.

I concur… it’s not what it could be.  Maybe not even what it should be. 

But it’s life.  And it’s real…and perhaps just as memorable as any other picture-perfect holiday scene.

This season of life is busy, but tonight I finally took some time, dug out some fuzzy socks and settled in next to the tree.  The star was crooked, but I ignored it as I asked child number three to roll the fireplace up next to me.   The steaming mug of coffee brought a comforting warmth to my hands and in that moment, I discovered a beauty all it’s own.

True, Silent Night still couldn’t be heard over the din of the boys decking the halls.  (No really… they tend to bang into the walls as they bump down the stairs on their worn out sleeping bags.)   But, in spite of the chaos, I had to think… life doesn’t always happen like we think it could… not even always like traditions say it should… our tree trimming experience is proof of that.

But then there’s this messy thing called grace.

That unconventional gift all wrapped up with the Advent of Jesus.

See, Mary’s first Christmas wouldn’t have been one to brag about on Instagram.  No professional photographer was there to capture the happy occasion… only an inexperienced, uncertain husband… and some cattle. 

Smelly shepherds guests could never take the place of showing off baby to Grandma and Grandpa… and who among us would want to allow strangers from a strange land to conduct our firstborn’s baby shower?

Imperfect perfection.

That’s what it was.

Neither her surroundings, nor her possessions were the things which gave Mary joy. 

It was the presence of one tiny Baby.

Her entire focus fell upon a Child who came with no other desire than to give a broken world the gift of His redeeming love… a love that looks beyond our crooked imperfections.  A grace that sees beyond our failed traditions, broken dreams and messy lives.

He knows all our successes and all our failures. He knows what gets cropped out of the family photos –

and He loves us anyway.

I finished my cup of coffee, and smiled.  The star on top of the tree still leaned heavily towards the north, but I let it go.

It was placed there by the hands of a child - one of my own who isn’t yet tall enough to do it with perfection… and I love it.  It’s my reminder, that comparison will never bring joy and contentment….  Those are the presents that can only be found within the presence of that tiny Christmas Baby.  

The One Who came to cover our imperfections with His perfect gift called grace.

Rotating Chore Chart

If you know me, you know my eternal love for chore charts and lists.  We have a pretty good system going on here in Carpenterville, but tonight I found another area that needed tweaking - after dinner chores.

Since several nights a week have us running out the door to various activities, we needed something flexible.  I think hope I've found the answer!

Make two circles - one with chores listed along the perimeter, and a second circle with children's names (I laminated mine).  Lay the one on top of the other, tack together and allow children to turn the wheel each evening after chores have been completed.

Enjoy!

Family Creed

Tim and I spent a few days in California last week.  While we were gone, we took a good long look at our family and decided to jot down a few specifics of WHO we ARE as a family - or at least who we WANT to be.

Here's what we came up with:

After watching so many families being torn apart (even experiencing it ourselves), we've realized how precious FAMILY is and know that the things that tear people apart are seldom equal in value to the relationship they could have. 

Hoping to get this printed on a canvas and hanging it in our kitchen as a way to remind our kids that we BELONG together and that no matter what - I've got your back.

YOU Had a JOB?!

I love speaking truth into my children's lives... seeing them grasp ahold of new concepts and applying it to their lives.

I love watching them learn..  watching them grow.

This morning during Bible time was no exception.   The kids were gathered around listening to Kobe read (a.k.a. lip syncing along with the British man that lives inside my Bible app) from James.  Our topic was humility so after Kobe had finished "reading", I expounded on the benefits of not being proud and admitting when you need help.

"I learned that quickly at my first job, kids," I said.  "My boss taught me that it's always best to ask for help rather than try to stumble along on my own.  You see, too many times we don't want to ask for help from others... simply because of our pride."

The kids were all listening - at least half-heartedly, but Corey... Corey was watching me with awe in his eyes.  My mother-heart warmed to see him soaking in all the wisdom I was so anxious to impart into his life.

I have to admit to a measure of pride swelling up in my heart as I watched his face looking up at me with rapt-attention, his eyes wide with amazement.  But the moment passed all too soon, and my balloon of pride burst, plummeting me back to earth when he opened up his mouth.  

Rather than ask for more advice on living a humble life... or thanking me for taking the time to share such wonderful insight, my very impressed little boy said, "WHAT?  YOOOUUU had a JOB?!?" 

His eyes were huge and his mouth hung slack.

I stared at him for a second.  

Laughed.  

Then announced that Bible time was over.  

Maybe that lesson on humility was actually more for me than it was for the kids!  :)

Titus2Woman: Phyllis

You’ve told me how much the Titus2Woman series has encouraged you - and I’m glad.  So many of us as young women and mothers can relate to them in different ways.  We’ve battled depression, we’ve lost babies, we’ve lost parent’s.  Some of us wonder what we have to offer in comparison.  Our lives seem easy-peesy in the face of our friends’, yet I stand by the belief that we all have something to offer those around us.

Today, I want to introduce you to my friend (and Tim’s aunt), Phyllis.  I have known her for most of my life, and I appreciate her spunk and love for life.  She is an incredibly hard worker and I admire that in her as well.

As with the other women, I sent Phyllis a list of questions and here is how she answered them.  If this blesses you, please pass it on to other women... and feel free to drop me a line - I’ll pass your comments on to Phyllis as well.

Now, meet Phyllis:

Hi, I'll start by telling you a little about myself.  I have been married to Lowayne Yoder for 33 years.

  

Our oldest son, Jonathon, is 32 years old and has 2 boys and 3 girls.  Their ages range from 10 to 5 (and they are in the process of adopting 2 children from Uganda).  Jonathon is married to Carissa and they farm with us. 

Jon, Carissa, Ben, Madi, Zoe, Max & Mia

Mark is 30 years old and lives at our home.  He was born with Cerebral Palsy.  Mark works at K-mart two days each day, as a greeter. 

Monica is 28 years old and lives at our home. She is the secretary/bookkeeper at Yoder and Sons trucking and Meadowbrook Farms.  

Jasmine came to live with us several years ago and is currently in college.

Jessica, Monica & Jasmine

Jessica is 26 yrs old and is married to Josh Berkshire. They live in Nappanee, Ind. She is working at Burkholder Dutch Village. 

Some good memories I have are of my kids using boxes, buckets or whatever they could find to make drums and playing these "drums" while the rest of the kids rollerbladed to the music.  I loved to sneak into the hall and listen to the girls as they played with dolls and were the mom and kids waiting for their dad to come home. 

These are very generic, but good memories. I loved the times we traveled out west in a rented moterhome, listening to Odessey, and enjoying the landmarks all along the way.  

My goals as a young mom were at first to have a perfect family and live happily ever after... as it became real, I truly had a goal to just make it thru the day without screaming. 

It was so busy for me when they were little I didn’t think much about all of that stuff. As they got older, I think I was just treading water. I really wanted my kids to get a good education and be rooted in the Word of God.

Having a handicapped kid was definitely a challenge I didn’t plan on.  It is really hard for me to understand medical stuff, so I was very thankful for Pathfinder center (a local school for disabled kids).   Those gals helped me more than I can explain. 

Going to the grocery store with a newborn, 2 year, 4 year that couldn’t hold his own head up or sit alone, and a 6 year old was... well, I was going to say it was a challenge, but I think it was insane!  One cart was loaded with kids and one with groceries.  I wasn’t about to go every week.  Once a month was more than enough! 

We also lived 25 miles from a major city, so I wasn’t willing to go alone with all the kids often.  At that time though, Lowayne was in the fields sooo much so I needed to just do it. 

I also remember helping Lowayne with harvest.  I would load up all the kids (yep, at least 2 baby chairs) into the tractor, haul wagons to the bins, empty them and take them back (crazy!). 

It is still a challenge to have a disabled adult in our lives, but I am so thankful for God’s grace and strength.

If I could talk to some 20 year old Phyllis, I would have told her to 

• Just buy her veggies at a market and can them - not grow them and weed them.  It is so time consuming.. and really if you could afford it to just buy the stuff canned already.  
• Spend more time with the kids... playing with them and telling them stories and holding their hands, taking them to the zoo, park, woods on a picnic, bike rides and all that kind of stuff.  I am glad we helped to start the LACS school. I was able to spend time investing in the kids that way and after that homeschooling the kids we did spend lots of time together. 
• Just relax and don’t have to have everything done all the time. 
• I would also tell her that it is of utmost importance to keep her relationship with her husband "up to date".  Take time to go away for a weekend, just the two of you at least once a year and go on lots of dates. Its good for the kids to have a break from you and you from them. The kids will (probably) all leave the nest and you and hubby will have to carry on alone together and you want to know each other then. 
• I also think it was good for me to be actively involved in the farming (as much as I could) although it made me crazy busy, because I understood so much more how his business worked and some of the feelings he was having (you know they have a hard time sharing their feelings). 
• One other thing, just be yourself... you don’t have to be everyone else.
• I also would say, share your life with your mom and mom in law. I know of some young ladies that close that door, and I know I was one of those, but I learned that although older ladies are slower, they can do so much to help carry the load and teach the little ones, and just love on all those involved. It is good to have close friends that are your age, but older women need to help by teaching and there is so much fulfillment for all involved.
  

Day 8 - We Are Family!

It would be impossible to blog for 24 days straight about the gifts in my life and not mention family.  Tim and I have been blessed with lots and lots of relatives - and we love them all!

In fact, we love them so much that for 10 out of our 14 years marriage, we always lived within a mile of one of our parents.  We cut the cord two years ago and moved - now we're half way between both!  :)

This past weekend, we enjoyed a family tradition with part of Tim's family - the Yoder Shrimp Boil.  Later we were privileged to host his brother, Joe, in our home for a couple of days, and in a couple of days, I get to visit my wonderful relatives in Texas!  

Whether it's a Sunday dinner full of laughter with the Carpenters, or just another work day with the brothers on Stutzman Farms, the connection to family is a blessing like none other.

Besides the joys of extended family, I am also thankful for the family I call mine - Tim, Tyler, Amy, Corey and Kobe.  We have our crazy moments, our funny memories, our frustrating mornings (this morning was no exception), and a bond of love that I pray will never be broken.

God spoke to my heart this morning, so I grabbed my pen and jotted down these words.  

Mankind is often willing to forfeit their own personal joy and peace

Too often, willing to sacrifice the love of relationship 

in order to cling to their self-proclaimed right 

to things which have no eternal value. 

Who can put a price on joy? 

What is the value of love? 

A life lived choosing to lift up another

rather than self is a life worth living.

Thank God for the blessings of family in your life - whether biological or family by choice.  They are a gift from God and should be treated as such.

My little Amy brought a picture to me that she drew recently.  I loved it so much, I hung it on the fridge.  To me, it tells how much she values the people God has placed within these four walls, and my prayer is that it will always be so. 

Peaches!

My family preserves many different kinds of food, but the one we get the most compliments on is our peaches.  Already this summer I've received several phone calls about "how do you can those peaches"?  So, I thought, "why not blog about it and share the joy with the world?"

If canning sounds overwhelmingly difficult to you, let me surprise you.  It's not!  It's actually quite simple and I will lay out the steps one by one to help you through the process.  An added benefit to canning your own food is knowing just what all is going into your families tummies!  After a long days work of preserving food, it feels good to step back and see what you've accomplished in caring for your families needs!

Now, peaches.  First of all, if you want awesome canned peaches - you have to use awesome peaches, and (this is for all you seasoned peach preservers) believe it or not, we use Baby Golds.  Baby Gold's are usually ready sometime in September.  Yes, they are harder to peel.  Yes, the pit is difficult to extract.  But enjoying the delicious taste of canned peaches (that haven't turned to mush) five months later is, oh, so worth it!

On the Stutzman Farm, my SIL's, Christy (who's having a birthday today), Elizabeth and Karista, all join in to help can several bushels in one day.  Sometimes we even have a few friends join us, and the day is full of chatter, laughter and back-breaking work.

Here's how we do it:

1.  Fill a large tub with water and get the kids to start washing the fuzzies off.

2.  Peeling Baby Gold's is much like you would an apple and removing the pit is much easier if you use a grapefruit spoon.  Usually my mom starts peeling, while one of us girls twist open the peaches and remove the pits.

3.  Drop peeled peaches into a bowl of cold water until ready to dice.

4.  We dice our peaches with a Veg-O-Matic.  These are not very easy to find, but they are WONDERFUL to use!  If you have little ones in the house, dicing your peaches is a great way for little fingers and mouths to easily enjoy the sweet taste. Here's what a Veg-O-Matic looks like and even a link to where you can purchase one yourself!

5.  Prepare syrup.  My grandma used equal parts water and sugar.  I tend to use 6 cups of sugar to 8 cups of water.  You are welcome to adjust the sugar levels to whatever makes you comfortable.  Mix your sugar and water together in a large kettle and heat just until sugar is dissolved.

6.  Fill quart jars with diced peaches and then pour syrup over peaches until it reaches the neck of the jar.

7.  Wipe the rim of the jar clean with a wet rag and place lid and ring on jar. I always boil my lids (not the rings) before using them, but we don't boil the jars as some suggest.

8.  Place filled jars in large canner.  I fill the canner with water until it just covers the top of the jars.  Bring canner to a boil. This is called a hot water bath.

9.  After jars have boiled for 20 minutes, remove and let them cool.  We lay old bath towels on a table or counter and line the jars up there when they've gone through the water bath part.

10.  Listen for the delightful popping sound as the lids begin to seal and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.  (See that wasn't hard, was it?)

These peaches will be a great addition to any meal.  We eat them plain, with cottage cheese, in a cobbler and mixed with blueberries.  You can even use them for pies, as a gift or as a cheesecake topping.

Enjoy!